


Ephemeral Iridescence

by flordemens



Category: Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Punk, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-27
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2018-10-24 14:07:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10743249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flordemens/pseuds/flordemens
Summary: Haru watched as the vibrant color swirled around her hands, glowing red for the anger she felt. Seeing all the colors of the damn rainbow was horribly useless. She already knew what mood she was in, Haru didn't need the stupid colors to show her.What was the damn point of all of this?Day in and day out she wished for something to change, longed for the colors to disappear.But what happens when Haru can suddenly see someone else's colors?Well, wasn't life just one cruel motherf*cker.





	1. For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic

Haru had always been able to see the colors swirling around her fingers, ever since she was five.

At first, she thought they were beautiful and amusing, like little silk ribbons. Haru enjoyed watching the beautiful colors flow and dance before her eyes.

“Haru baby, why do you keep looking down at your hands?” Her father asked her at the age of eight. “The colors around my hands are a pretty light blue papa,” Haru smiled and looked up, raising her hands so her father could see for himself. “There’s nothing on or around your hands, Haru. What are you talking about?” He asked, confusion scrunching up his features. Haru retracted her hands to her lap, staring at how the color slowly changed from the light blue to a muddy orange. “The colors. You can see them, can’t you? See, right now it’s orange!” Haru said excitedly again as she stretched her hands straight up in the air above her head. “Haru, there’s nothing there…”

After insisting that she indeed had colors floating around both of her hands, her parents decided to take her to a psychiatrist. There had to be some logical reasoning as to why she was seeing these things.

Just as she had explained to her parents various times, she explained the colors to the psychiatrist, but this time with much less enthusiasm. Haru knew the reaction she would get.

Soon after the visit, Haru was told by her parents that she needed to take medicine to make the colors go away; because as they had worded it, ‘it wasn’t normal.’

But the medicine did nothing for her. After taking it for half a year, she could still see the colors just as clearly.

The kids at school would tease her for taking her medicine. They told her she was all sorts of crazy and that no one should go near her because they would catch whatever she had.

Soon enough, she grew to dislike the fact that she could see her colors. If she was the only one who could see them, what was the point? It was wasted beauty.

As she got older, the emotions flooding her system wreaked havoc before her eyes.

Sparks of a variety of reds would shoot up into her field of vision when she would get angry and light swirls of feathery yellow would cover her hands when she was happy. When she was sad, a deep blue would stagnate at her fingertips, looking almost as invisible as she felt.

She dealt with how she felt by herself for the longest time. She pretended to take her meds to make her parents happy and she never mentioned the colors to anyone unnecessarily.

Then one fine high school spring day in her first year, she met _them_.

Life was infinitely better from then on, bright yellow flowing out from her hands more often than she had ever seen in her whole life.

Now, Haru was in her second year at Korea National University of Arts, majoring in fine arts.

Haru loved every minute of being able to photograph beautiful scenery, but her favorite was taking photographs of people. There wasn't anything more satisfying to her than capturing a human’s natural beauty through her lens, and them feeling equally as confident about themselves after. It made the yellow swirls extend all the way to her elbows when people got a confidence boost from her work.

But today was a Wednesday, and Haru absolutely hated Wednesdays.

Wednesdays meant she had pure general education courses, meaning she would be bored out of her mind all day.

Since second semester of last year, Haru planned for Wednesdays to be the main day to get her gen eds out of the way so she could enjoy her major classes in peace.

As Haru got up from her bed, she looked at her left hand pressing down on the mattress, a mist of gray floating over her hand. She sighed and grabbed her phone to check the time, only to see a message from her mom asking if she’d taken her pills yet. She typed out a quick yes, a little white lie she told her mother every day. Haru lived alone in a one bedroom apartment with her cat Butter, what her mom didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.

She glanced at her hands again, the gray starting to turn into a hot pink as she spotted Butter at the end of her bed. She loved her lazy orange cat to pieces, but the colors that emitted from her hands whenever she saw or hugged him were blinding.

The colors were all too much for her these days. Sometimes she was so happy that the brightness of all the yellows would give her a headache, other days she was too calm and the blue would drive her up a wall. Frankly, Haru was sick of seeing these colors day in and day out. Sick and tired of the same shit every day.

Haru was _really_ trying not to be bitter about it all. She had people who loved her for who she was now, what more could she ask for? But love couldn’t take away the constant emptiness she felt at the pit of her stomach.

Haru decided to take a seat at the back of her English class as usual, far away from human interaction. Unlike with Butter, where she would gladly suffer through her blinding colors; Haru did not feel that humans were worth the effort. If they weren’t her muse for her photos, she preferred the least amount of human interaction as possible.

Also, she hated these classes and it definitely showed on her face. Resting bitch face usually kept them away, so it all usually worked out in her favor.

As if on cue, the color around Haru's hands swirl into a hue of amber. Amber for her meant calm, but unsettled or nervous. And indeed, she was slowly becoming more and more unsettled as she watched the class room fill up with people she didn’t know.

Suddenly, a tall model like guy sat right next to her and oh god does she want to move, but Haru doesn't want to be rude and just get up and change seats right in front of him. She stared straight at her hands as the amber glowed more vivid now, going past her wrists. It wouldn't be that much of a problem if he hadn't brought his little posse of friends along.

Haru watched as model guy and the rest of his friends joked around, but quickly noticed something off about one of them.

She squinted and rubbed her eyes with her palms once, and then twice, because what she was seeing couldn't be possible.

Model guys friend had his hands supporting himself as he leaned back against the table, his hands emitting a mist of gold. Haru had never seen such a bright, almost glittery gold in her whole life. Hell, she had never been able to see anyone else’s colors except her own, so what the fuck was happening right now? Was she truly crazy and hallucinating it all?!

"His hands are radiating gold, and I can fucking see it. I have got to be going insane," Haru mumbled to herself, a hand against her mouth to hide her blatant astonishment at the sight happening before her.

Haru decided to get herself together and stop staring so openly at glittery gold guy. She decided to put her head down on her arms and mind her own business until English class started, because thinking of the latter would just drive her _more_ insane at this point.

"Hyungwon can get a modeling contract so easily, but can't even talk to any of the girls he models with other than 'Hi, let's work hard today' or my absolute favorite, 'Thank you for your hard work.’ Our Hyungwonnie really is hopeless."

What a way to roast a guy so openly, Haru thought as she tried to keep herself from eavesdropping.

"Hey! Leave him alone Minhyuk. At the very least he can speak respectfully to them, that’s something."

"Shut up Wonho. Like you're one to talk, you’re the ladies man of the group. You should give Hyungwon some tips."

They started to laugh and Haru turned her head to the side from all the noise, instantly locking eyes with glittery gold guy as he was still laughing. He was actually quite attractive, she thought in retrospect.

As their staring contest continued, one of glittery gold guys friends abruptly interrupted.

"Hey Wonho," the guy said, waving his hand annoyingly fast in front of Won...ho was it? "Earth to WONHO!" His friend continued as he smacked the table, effectively bringing Wonho back to reality. "What were you staring at?" The persistent one asked as they all began to turn their heads, signaling for Haru to quickly turn away in the other direction.

"N-Nothing. I gotta go to my class though, I'll talk to you guys later," Wonho said as he noisily got up from his seat on the table.

When Haru opened her eyes again, the color around her hands were pitch black.

How did she go from wanting her own colors to disappear, to seeing someone else’s? It’s too cruel to be true. In fact, she was convinced it wasn’t. It was her mind playing tricks on her, a fluke. That’s what she was going to believe.

The only thing she was certain of was that this school year was off to a damn strange start.


	2. I Am Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a very very _slow burn_.

Thursdays were a different story for Haru.

In the morning, she had her lighting 101 class which she absolutely enjoyed. Haru was fascinated at how lighting could make things look so different. In her eyes, lighting was what made a photograph magnificent and enhanced the beauty of the subject.

Although, what she _really_ looked forward to on Thursdays more than her photography class was going to work. After class, she went straight to her ‘job’ at D &W Cafe & Bar.

Haru's best friend ran the cafe bar along with six of his friends. When he came to her with the news, Haru didn't hesitate to offer her help. All she ever hoped for was for the place to be a success, wanted nothing more than for her best friend's dream to become a reality.

A year of hard work and many mischievous occurrences later, it was beyond anything they could have ever imagined.

The atmosphere was always chill during the day, but at night they would have bands play on the small stage and the crowd would always go wild; mosh pits rampant in the tiny venue. It was basically a free concert every time Haru worked and she absolutely loved it.

"Hey Haru. You're a minute late."

Haru smiled genuinely for the first time that day, feeling the instant good mood that this place brought her.

"Yeah, yeah. Please don't tell boss about it though, alright?" She teased the man who was staring right back at her, with the gummiest of smiles appearing slowly across his face. "Maybe just this once, he's all the way upstairs and I couldn't be bothered.”

"Ah, you're a lifesaver Yoongi!" Haru giggled out as she went to stand behind the register of the cafe. "You think so?" Yoongi said as he leaned on the counter of the register with his elbows, "Do you think that's reasoning enough to ask boss for a raise, cause-"

"Raise? I just gave you a raise and you already want another one?" Said boss cackled out with his cute bunny teeth. "Yeah well, seeing as no one can believe that you're my boss to this day, I think I deserve some sort of compensation for each time I die a little inside," Yoongi said in all seriousness, which made them all burst into hysterical laughter.

Haru turned and stared a little too long at Jungkook, at the way his eyes crinkled so endearingly as he gripped the edge of the counter to not fall from laughing so hard.

Jungkook regained his composure quickly, "Alright, let's get to work guys. The band playing tonight seems to be some popular newbies and there's a bunch of girls already lined up at the side of the building." He said the last part with a twitch, knowing already how ninety-percent of the crowd were going to just be screaming fangirls. Either way, it was good for business.

"I have to go outside and tell them to come back later, but can you start setting up Yoongi?" Jungkook asked from under his eyelashes, fiddling with his fingers for added effect. He knew how to make Yoongi soft for him and it was so adorable to watch. "Ugh, fine. I wanted to get a nap in first, but I'll just set up and _then_ take one. Just stop looking at me like that," Yoongi said in exasperation, waving his hands around as Jungkook broke into a wide smile. "Thanks guys, I'll be back to check in later!"

And with that both left her sight, except Haru could faintly hear Yoongi grumbling things like "stupid drums take forever" and "why me fuck damnit." Haru sighed as she grinned to herself, looking down to wipe the counter as vibrant yellow swirled in with the rag she was cleaning with.

All seven of them meant the world to Haru.

 

In fact, she had told all seven of them at once about her colors back when she was in her second year of high school.

"Colors?" Jungkook had mumbled out in awe, the first to speak out among the rest who were still processing all the information Haru had just given them. "And they come from your hands?" He continued, pointing at his own hand. She nodded in agreement, voice lost at the fear of how they'd all react. Jungkook's eyes grew wide and Haru had felt the lump in her throat grow bigger.

"Wah, that's so cool! It's like you're an anime character!" He exclaimed excitedly.

It was new and unexpected. Everything always was with Jungkook.

"What?" Haru questioned, amused at how he was just staring at her every move; as if waiting for the colors to pop up into his field of vision. "You're like Goku, but prettier," Jungkook had said thoughtlessly and didn't think twice as a blush crept up Haru's cheeks.

The rest knew what Jungkook was painfully oblivious to and watched as Haru stared down at her shoes, hair hiding her face. "I think you've got it wrong Kookie...I-"

"Yeah, you idiot. Haru said she could see colors, not blast them out of her hands," Yoongi defended, side eyeing Jungkook. The rest bursted out into laughter as Jungkook sputtered, "I-I-I just thought it'd be something n-nice to say, s-screw you guys...!"

"It's okay Kookie, thanks for trying," Haru giggled, hand at her mouth to prevent herself from full on laughing again.

"It is really cool though, Haru! I always wondered why you would stare super hard at your hands sometimes!" Taehyung shouted.

"Yeah, I noticed that too. I'm glad you felt like you could tell us," Namjoon said as he smiled warmly.

In the end, they never treated Haru any differently and she was constantly thankful.

 

"Haru. HARU!"

Haru jumped up as she was smacked out of her reverie, effectively spilling the vanilla latte she was making. "WHAT!" She yelped out as she watched the swirls around her hands turn a deep pink in irritation. "Hi," Jungkook squeaked smugly.

"God damnit Kookie, what's your deal?!" Haru screeched.

"Nothing really, I just got bored and wanted to bug you," he said nonchalantly, eyes crinkling ever so cutely again as he smiled. Before Haru could even process the shock that his smile gave her every time, he turned it into a mischievous grin and ran up the stairs.

"The older he gets, the weirder he is..." Haru mumbled as she began to remake the vanilla latte.

As soon as she made it to perfection, she strolled over to the person the latte belonged to. "I'm sorry it took so long to make, please take your time," she said with a small smile. "It's fine, thank you," the customer said, voice ringing a familiar bell.

Haru shrugged it off quickly, as it was finally time to open the bar. She ran over to the sign that said 'open' and flipped it to 'closed.' They always closed temporarily to set up everything for the night. As Yoongi would say, "It's to take a good nap before it all gets bat shit crazy."

Haru couldn't argue with that. The aftermath of the nights they had bands play were no joke.

"Hey Haru!"

Haru jolted at the sound of The PA system coming to life and filling the place with Jungkook's voice.

"Yeah?" She yelled to the ceiling, knowing she looked like a complete idiot to the customer still drinking his latte. "Remember this song?" Jungkook said through the PA and she immediately grinned from ear to ear as the beginning of ‘the despair factor’ by AFI began to play.

Haru watched as Jungkook dashed down the stairs and next thing she knew, he grabbed her by the hand and lead her to the next room where the song was playing at full blast. They stared at each other for a moment before they started to run around in a circle, jumping and thrashing around as the punk music filled their system.

"Are you guys really gunna have a circle pit without us?!" Taehyung shouted over the music as he walked into the room, Jimin coming in behind him. Haru waved them over and after about 30 seconds in, it became the tiniest mosh pit; all of them pushing each other with the biggest of smiles on their faces.

This music made them all feel alive.

As the song came to a slow, their laughter became overwhelmingly loud and obnoxious. "You guys are idiots," Haru wheezed, "but I love you all the same." Jimin tumbled to the ground in laughter and Haru followed, her knees buckling from under her.

As the song picked up again, the laughter died down and Haru looked to Jungkook, knowing the lyrics that would soon follow.

_“When I fall_

_I wait for just one touch,_

_And I fall_

_Weightless,_

_Endless,_

_Faithless, I'll adore you”_

And it was true. She would always adore Jungkook to pieces. Haru was in love with him after all.

This song would always describe her feelings for him, but Jungkook loved it just because it was a great song.

Haru watched as the swirls around her fingers shifted into a purple blue.

"Why are you guys on the floor?" Yoongi said, still half asleep as he tilted his head to the side, perplexed.

"It's Jimin's fault," Haru stated, the excuse flowing out of her mouth with her eyes still on her hands. "What?!" Jimin shouted in a playfully offended tone. She looked up, already smiling as totalimmortal began to play in the background. God, she loved AFI so much. "Don't smile like that after accusing me," Jimin screeched over Davey Havok's voice, "Apologize!"

Jimin looked so badass with his black ripped skinny jeans and sleeveless Guns N Roses shirt, but his existence was the most adorable thing ever to her. "I'd rather settle it in the pit," Haru huffed out jokingly, sticking her tongue out as Taehyung and Jungkook made noises in the background.

They got up and started their shenanigans in the middle of the room again; Yoongi leaning on the door frame enjoying it all play out.

 

Haru had no idea at the time that the little, almost perfect world she had created for herself would soon tilt on its axis.

\----------

"There's so many people lined up outside already that it’s starting to make me nervous. Is Hyungwon here yet?"

"I don't think he's coming," Wonho muttered, looking at the distressed text message he just received on his phone.

"Shit. Is it his damn dad again?!" Kihyun said as he entered the small green room along with Shownu.

"Yeah..." Wonho sighed as he put his phone away.

He couldn't understand why Hyungwon wouldn't just come live with them, he was more than old enough to move out. If it meant that he'd have to work harder, he didn't care. His friends were his family and he'd do anything for them.

"You know what that means, don't you?" Minhyuk pouted, glaring at Wonho with his puppy eyes.

"No," Wonho said flatly, "I'm not doing it."

Monsta X was way too popular for him to be casually filling in when crap like this happened. Minhyuk was already down on his knees though, repeatedly begging Wonho to ‘please fill in for Hyungwon.’

"Come on, it's not like you don't love playing," Kihyun interjected through Minhyuk's begging, putting a hand to Minhyuk's mouth to shut him up.

Shownu came up and patted Wonho on the shoulder, "Yeah, just play with us for old times’ sake."

Of course Wonho loved playing guitar, but he didn’t want to be followed around by all their fangirls. He didn't _want_ to be recognized.

"We'll just give you a face mask. Problem solved!" Kihyun suggested just as Minhyuk licked his hand. "What the hell! Gross!" Kihyun shrieked as he looked at his now slimy hand.

Wonho saw the fumes slowly coming out of Kihyun's ears as he lowly growled, "You're so dead, Lee Minhyuk," and chased him out of the green room. Wonho giggled, always amazed at how easy it was to piss Kihyun off.

"I mean we could do that, you know." Wonho glared at Shownu who was still standing next to him. "What?" Shownu stared at him innocently. "Fine. I'm wearing the mask and my beanie to hide my hair, got it?" Wonho exhaled begrudgingly.

"Whatever you want, lover boy," Shownu beamed at Wonho.

"Stop calling me that," he grumbled. "Let's collect those two and start. I have work later and I can't be late," Wonho said as he walked out of the room, already wondering where Kihyun and Minhyuk could have gone off to.

\----------

"Jungkook, the newbies are asking if they can start a little early," he heard Yoongi drawl beside him. "Yeah, okay. That's fine. Just let me find Haru so we can start letting people in."

Jungkook looked around for Haru, only to find her in the cafe part of the venue just staring at her hands.

"Hey nerd, we're about ready to start. Can you notify security so they can open the doors?"

"Hmmm? Yeah," Haru said just loud enough to barely hear, still not looking at him. His features creased into confusion.

She was fine just a while ago, wasn't she?

He decided to sit across from her, pulling out the chair noisily on purpose.

No response.

"Haru, is something wrong?" Jungkook asked, but received utter silence in return as she was still fixated on her hands. Just as he went to say something else Haru abruptly whispered, "It's purple. Why is it always god damn purple?”

"Purple?" He mumbled as he looked down at her hands, "Are you talking about your hands? What does purple mean?"

"Purple?” Haru repeated and glanced toward Jungkook with a startled expression. “Ah, nothing. Just that I'm a little tired,” She said quietly as she grinned at him, but he could see right through it. It wasn’t the least bit genuine. “I'll go tell security and set up the bar." Haru got up and walked away from Jungkook without sparing him one last glance. He got up from his chair as well, something at the pit of his stomach telling him he was being lied to.

And he didn't like it one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! The story will pick up soon, but for now enjoy >:}


	3. Nerve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, surprise.

_“Hard shove, feel the heavy weight  
It's the same love that I push away”_

She stared up at the speakers on the ceiling momentarily, cursing them for reminding her of her bittersweet feelings. She quickly shook it off and remembered that she was still on the clock.

_“It's all in my head, there's not much I can do_  
You set your pace, I keep mine too  
Each time I chase, I feel dark blue  
Confuse your face for someone new” 

She knew she couldn’t stew in these feelings forever. She eventually needed to tell him, but that would absolutely ruin _everything_.

_“I guess I owe you for most everything  
Like the way I feel and the curse you bring-”_

Haru was making drinks alongside Jin for the mountain of customers that were waiting for the newbies, apparently named Monsta X, when the speakers cut off and the crowd started to cheer.

Haru and Jin glanced at each other with big smirks on their faces.

_Let the insanity begin._

Monsta X walked out and the fans started to go wild, the fangirls screeching upon all the chaos of getting squished and hit. The mosh pits instantly formed as the lead singer belted out the beginning lyrics.

Haru decided not long after their second song that they're pretty damn good. She didn't have much time to look up at the actual band since the bar was the busiest it had ever been since the venue opened, but she felt the familiar itch of wanting to be in the crowd; to immerse herself completely in its energy. Maybe if the bar died down in a bit she could.

Haru took a quick glance up at the band as the beer poured into the glass mug she was holding and felt her whole body turn cold.

There was a guy in a black mask and beanie, hands glowing a glittery gold as he played the electric guitar.

"You have got to be shitting me," she said aloud, heads at the bar turning to look at her. Haru shook her head, hair in her face to hide the panic she felt bubbling up inside. What kind of sick joke was this? She had convinced herself that what she had seen yesterday was bullshit, but now she couldn't deny it. Could she see various people's colors now, or was it the same guy?

It had to be. Whether she was in denial or not, his color was so unique it was engraved into her brain.

Just as Haru went to take another quick glance up, Jin yelled in her ear, "Haru, what are you doing?! That's quality beer you're wasting there!" She suddenly felt her fingers slicked with beer, realizing far too late that she had let the beer spill over. "Oh fuck," Haru cursed as she grabbed a rag to clean up the mess she had made.

"You've always had such a way with words," Namjoon sniggered as he sidled up next to her behind the bar. "How about you finish up that drink and then take the night off? I'll wrap up the night with Jin." Haru glanced at Jin who was nodding enthusiastically, making her give in easily. "Okay..." She said as she turned to redo the beer.

Today was just not Haru's day.

She walked out of the bar area and into the crowd, already staring at the guy with the golden mist around his hands as he played.

"Alright, we're gunna slow it down now. Turn on your phone lights for this one guys," the lead singer with pink hair said to the crowd as the guy with the golden mist grabbed an acoustic guitar.

Why couldn't Haru remember his name?

Golden guy started to play the acoustic guitar and Haru watched the golden mist spread to his elbows. Did that mean playing the acoustic guitar made him extra happy?

Haru moved further toward the front, saying excuse me as she roughly passed through the jam-packed crowd. As she got to the front she could see golden guy more clearly now, his golden mist so bright it was like she was staring at the sun.

"You’re so beautiful, I can’t take my eyes off you. Like a thorn on a flower,  
I know I’ll get pricked but I want you." Haru observed how the beautiful mist swished up and down as he played the acoustic guitar. She couldn't for the life of her stop staring. She was completely entranced.

"You’re so pretty, so beautiful it makes me sad," the pink haired singer crooned as golden guy finally looked up to the crowd. Haru couldn't help but scrutinize every little detail about him. His eyes that seemed nothing but invitingly warm and gentle. His black jeans that were ripped all along his thighs, revealing a tattoo she couldn't quite read. His arms that were so muscular, but looked equally soft. "Too beautiful to handle."

"Hey, these guys are pretty good huh?" Haru heard near her and snapped to attention at the couple standing right next to her.

She suddenly felt embarrassed at how she was so openly observing a total stranger. With that train of thought, the panic set in. She felt her ears heat up along with the rest of her face, her heart began racing and felt the clamminess of her hands. Haru didn't need to see somebody else's colors. Didn't she go through enough with her own? Why was this happening to her now?

She felt the anxiety seeping into her skin, the panic yelling at her to leave.

So that's what she did. Haru ran out of that crowd like a bat out of hell.

Haru didn't want to deal with Jungkook or the guy with inviting eyes, who's emotions she could see. She just wanted to go home and cuddle with Butter and possibly cry her eyes out at this new discovery. She didn’t _want_ it.

She could hear Jin and Namjoon calling out to her, but she didn’t want them to see her face; her eyes that were welling up with tears.

Haru ran the whole three miles to her apartment with her phone constantly vibrating in her bag.

But for just one night she would be selfish and shut the world out.

\----------

"Wonho, the customer at table five is asking for you."

Wonho looked over from behind the kitchen door, curious as to who it was this time. There were very few customers who specifically asked for him these days.

"Shit! It's Eunbi," Wonho said as he dragged his hands down his face. "Just tell her I'm not working today."

"No can do. Plus, how is she gunna believe that when you have to serve the rest of our customers?"

"Fuck, come on Jaehyun. I know this cafe is a little special, but I can't stand her!" Wonho whisper yelled, feeling every cell in his body already screaming at the thought of being touched by that woman. He could handle the flirting he had to do to get great tips, but customers touching him always left Wonho feeling sick to his stomach.

He needed this job though.

"She always leaves you the best tips anyway. I really don’t know why you're complaining." Wonho didn't even know why he thought his boss would help him out. He was a total ass wipe.

So, with a lot of mental preparation and a few deep breaths, Wonho slowly made his way to Eunbi.

With every step he took his stomach turned, but he needed to do this so he'd just have to suck it up.

"Hello, ma'am. How are you today?" Wonho didn't want to be extra nice to her, he just wanted to be courteous enough for her to have her coffee and leave. "Aw, why so formal love? I thought we had agreed that you can call me baby," he watched as Eunbi flirtatiously grinned at him, resting her chin in her palm and turning her head to one side.

He ignored her comment and decided to cut to the chase. "Are you ready to order? What would you like?" Wonho habitually smiled as he asked and regretted it immediately. "Hmmm...well...." Eunbi mumbled, twisting in her seat to get closer to Wonho, "What would you recommend?"

He felt the goosebumps already rising on his skin, felt the uncomfortable clamminess on the back of his neck. "For today, I'd recommend the mocha latte and strawberry cheesecake," Wonho muttered, keeping his voice monotone. "Oh!" Eunbi said as she leaned over to him with her cleavage beyond obvious, touching his arm and squeezing his bicep, "I'll order that then," she finished off in a sultry tone. It was like nails on a chalkboard to Wonho's ears. "Good choice. Let me get that for you," he said, focusing on leaving as fast as he can.

As he made his way to the cake display, he noticed Junhong tying an apron around his waist behind the counter. "How's it going with your stalker?" Junhong asked with a slight giggle.

"She's fucking insufferable," Wonho whined as he placed his cheek on the display case. "That sucks, but you better get your cheek off that display case if you don't want to get sprayed in the face with this," Junhong threatened, holding up the spray bottle used for cleaning the glass.

Wonho put his hands up and backed away, a smile threatening his features.

Then suddenly his vision went black.

Honestly, the shenanigans the guys he worked with pulled left him wondering why they all still had this job. Does Jaehyun not give a shit as long as they're eye candy for the customers?

"If you don't take your hands off my face Kyungil, I'm telling Yijeong about that one time you-" Wonho snickered as Kyungil attempted to stifle a scream. "You shut the hell up about that!" Kyungil grumbled as he walked away to service a table, but not before he discreetly gave Wonho the finger. Wonho full on laughed at that and then sighed.

Besides Eunbi...this place was pretty alright.

But Eunbi came to the cafe almost every day and Wonho didn't know how to tell her to fuck off politely. He was contemplating on just telling her to do just that, just rip off the band aid and get it over with.

All Wonho knew was that he needed to do _something_ , because he was definitely losing his damn patience.

What Wonho didn't know was that some people couldn’t take no for an answer.

\------------

Haru was late.

She was so damn late to her 6 o'clock photoshop class that it was nearly over.

From waking up late from her nap to missing her bus to Uni, all the way to not attending her first day of Photoshop class; Haru's evening was going swimmingly.

She would have to email the teacher an excuse of some sort and ask for the homework as soon as possible.

Haru groaned internally just at the thought of it. She was never good at communicating with her teachers outside of class. It was always just a jumbled mess of her asking a paragraph of questions and apologies only to get a blunt one lined answer.

Haru sighed grumpily and decided to walk over to the nearest cafe in her surroundings. She spotted one with the name 'Tease Coffee & Pastries' which she had never seen or heard of before, but decided to go in despite the odd name.

She didn't really look around at the cafe as she found a seat near one of the windows by the door. Haru quickly pulled out her laptop from her bag and started it up, rehearsing what she could possibly say to her teacher to excuse her absence in her head. Pulling up a web browser, she was about to begin typing when she heard a struggling seductive voice say, "Hello-o love, is there anything I can get for you?"

Feeling a bit unsettled at the choice of words, Haru froze and looked up to see an absurdly tall man whose name tag read Seungjun.

Haru could never hide her emotions much. Besides her emotions showing up on her hands, they _always_ showed on her face. The amber swirling around her hands was definitely slapped on her face as she watched Seungjun gulp at the sight of her.

Haru might have been glaring, but she hardly thought she looked intimidating. "Skip the love, I'll just have a green tea latte, please," she said without an ounce of emotion. Who did this Seungjun guy think he was, acting so friendly?

"C-Coming right u-up," Seungjun stuttered out with a bright grin. As soon as he turned, Haru let out a small giggle. Did she really look that ticked off? Is that why Jungkook said she was scary most of the time?

Ah, Jungkook....

Truth be told, she was still avoiding everyone.

It was a horrible idea, she knew. Haru needed to get her shit together and not run away from this, but for now she just wanted some time to herself.

She checked her phone in her bag, making sure it was still off when she sees some sort of sparkling mist in her peripheral vision.

Haru was _really_ starting to lose it.

She swiftly glanced up and looked around, seeing no sign of the guy she had in the back of her mind.

If she really took the time to think about it, his color was absolutely breath taking. Haru had only seen one single color of his emotions and she was mesmerized. Was he always in some sort of happy mood? Didn't his moods fluctuate just as much as everyone else's?

Her thoughts were instantly interrupted by a green tea latte coming into her view, along with a different server. Jesus Christ, did she scare the other one off?!

This servers name was apparently Kyungil and he was ridiculously good looking. Haru could tell he knew he was, the confidence oozing out of every pore and movement he made. He also didn't have trouble being seductive and flirty, almost like it came natural to him as he asked, "Is there anything more I can get for you, princess?"

Haru felt her eye twitch as she openly glared yet again at the over friendly server. The confidence didn't dissipate from him though, Kyungil only stared back with a smirk on his face as he waited for her to reply. "No, thank you cheese ball," she retorted flatly as they continued their staring contest.

She swore she saw his features change, but he rapidly schooled them back to utter confidence. "You're cheeky. How interesting," Kyungil paused as he looked Haru up and down, "You can pay at the front register when you're done. Have a nice day baby doll." He sent a swift wink her way as he left.

"What's with the people who work here?" Haru mumbled as she shivered from disgust. Why were they all so flirty?

Haru looked around at the cafe for the first time since she sat down and slowly realized that all the customers in the cafe were women, while all the workers were men. Was she missing something?

She watched as a customer across from her laughed at something her server just said, overly exaggerated by a mile. Said customer then scooted closer to the server’s face, far too close to be considered normal.

No, Haru was definitely missing something.

What kind of cafe was this?!

The thought of emailing her professor floated back into her mind and all other thoughts flew out the window. She hastily sent her awkward email, cringing here and there at the millions of apologies she ended up typing and hit send before she could regret it.

After that train wreck, Haru spent some time glaring at her phone contemplating whether to turn it on or not as she took a sip of her green tea latte. “Oh wow,” she said, pleasantly stunned. She'd have to give whoever made it a lovely tip, it was that damn delicious.

She licked the excess foam from her lips as she turned her phone on and her ears immediately got attacked with a million jingles from unread phone calls and texts. Haru scrambled to put it on silent, but not nearly fast enough. When she looked up she winced as she saw everyone in the cafe staring right at her. Haru also noticed Kyungil in the corner of the cafe leaning against the wall, looking smugly satisfied.

She really didn't want to deal with any of this right now. As she went to pick up her things, she saw the color around her hands swirling black.

Haru walked up to the register to pay for her drink so she could leave, but found no one there.

"Um, excuse me?" She asked no one in particular, still feeling eyes watching her. Haru felt a lump in her throat forming and looked down at the marble countertop, hair curtaining her face.

"Oh! How can I help you? Did you want to pay?" Haru heard as she watched feet come out from the kitchen door. As she looked up she felt the room spin at the sight in front of her.

A dark gold mist swirled right before her eyes, accompanied by the brightest smile.

“Are you fucking kidding me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they all curse like a sailor :'}
> 
> but thank you to all who have commented and given kudos so far<3  
> I hope you continue to enjoy the story!


	4. Dead Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just...the slow burn is real.
> 
>  
> 
> _PLEASE DON'T HATE ME._

By this point, Haru was frustrated and angry; confused and tired. Most of all, who was this guy she kept bumping into and why could she see his emotions?!

"What?!" The worker exclaimed, wide eyed and visibly in shock.

Haru realized far too late that she had just cursed at him for reasons unknown to him. Even if she was angry that she could see his colors, it wasn't his fault.

"O-Oh ah yes, I wanted to pay," she stuttered as she grabbed ten dollars from her bag and hastily slapped them on the counter. Haru could feel that her hand was trembling and quickly retracted it. "You can keep the change uh," she hurriedly glanced at the name tag on his chest, "W-Wonho. Keep it." And with that, Haru was running out of the door and down the street, running away from him for the second time that week. She watched as the color on her semi shaking hands turned into a deep gold.

“What…the-“

Haru had never seen such a color on her hands before. What did that even mean?

Her thoughts floated back to golden boy whose smile was equally as blinding as his golden swirls.

_Wonho._

She'd have to remember that name.

\----------

"Um, excuse me?" Wonho heard a timid voice question through the half-cracked kitchen door.

"Take care of that customer for me, will you?" Jaehyun asked as he kneaded some dough.

Wonho washed his hands from all the flour and dough and walked out with a pep in his step; definitely in a much better mood today. He saw his first customer of the day looking straight down at the counter and found it a bit odd, but greeted them nonetheless. "Oh! How can I help you? Did you need to pay?" He asked as he flashed his usual smile.

She looked up at him and Wonho watched as all the color drained from her face.

Was she feeling sick?

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" the customer blurted out loud enough for him to hear. "What?!" Wonho retorted with wide eyes in surprise and confusion, not understanding what exactly was going on. Had he dealt with her before and just didn’t remember? Two years working at this place had made him more aware he wasn't everyone's cup of tea.

Wonho watched her face now, as it changed into sudden realization that she had just said that aloud. She then stuttered out, "O-Oh ah yes, I wanted to pay."

He observed how she rummaged through her bag and with a shaky hand slapped ten dollars onto the counter. Wonho eyed the money then looked up at her, "You can keep the change uh," she said as she looked at his chest. His chest? What was on his chest? "W-Wonho. Keep it." Oh, right. His name tag.

Before he could even say anything back, she was already through the door and running down the street. All he saw was her silver purple hair flowing behind her as she ran further away from his sight.

What the fuck was that about?

Wonho stared at the ten dollars in front of him. The latte was $3.50, how was he supposed to keep it all? As much as he liked tips he didn't feel right taking her money.

"Did she give me a tip?" Kyungil said near Wonho's shoulder, startling him. "I mean, not to brag, but that was probably one of the best latte's I've ever made."

"Oh, well.... I guess?" Wonho replied to him slowly. He went to the register and handed Kyungil the rest of the change. "She was definitely an interesting customer. I'd like to see her again," Kyungil smirked to himself and Wonho felt his chest tighten at the thought of her coming again. She didn't look like she'd ever want to come back and Wonho felt like it was somehow his fault.

But why?

\----------

_"You told me to love you and I did_  
Tied my soul into a knot and got me to submit  
So when I got away, I only kept my scars  
The other me is gone  
Now I don't know where I belong..." 

Haru was splayed out on her bed, listening to Slipknot while looking at the ceiling. Like so many decisions in her life, it was a bad idea. Most of the songs she listened to reminded her in some way of Jungkook now.

She had tried so many times to stop, to rip out her feelings for him and stomp on them until they vanished into thin air, but it never worked. Her love for him only grew more and more as the years passed by. Haru knew she desperately needed to move on because it would always be one sided.

Unrequited forever.

Her phone began to play the familiar ringtone that she set for Jungkook long ago and decided to finally pick it up. There was no use in avoiding him anyway, she would only end up missing him more that way.

"Hello?" She droned, still in her pity party mood.

"Hey, Haru. Why haven't you been picking up?" Jungkook said, a tinge of sadness dripping from his voice.

"I...." She began, but quickly stopped herself.

Did she really want to tell him what had been going on? Haru knew she could trust him, but telling him would be like telling a wall. There was nothing he could do for her and she already worried him enough as it is.

"I just needed some time to myself," she exhaled, knowing that it was a shitty excuse for how much she had made everyone worry. "Sorry Kookie. I didn't mean to make you worry," she sincerely apologized.

"Oh. It's okay. Just...are you alright? When I talked to you at the café the other day you seemed really off.”

Jungkook never missed a thing when it came to Haru. He knew her like the back of his hand.

"I'm just frustrated with my colors again, that's all. It never gets any easier for me," Haru sighed. She wasn't telling a lie either.

Haru watched as the purple on her left hand swirled all the way to her forearm.

She had come to learn that purple was love, the love she had for Jungkook. It was a vibrant purple that she had grown to hate looking at. Purple for her meant unrequited love.

"So, nothing new," Haru laughed it off because it truly wasn't. "Anything happen while I was gone?"

"Ah, yeah, good news! I almost have enough money to visit Mei again!" Jungkook exclaimed with so much excitement, he was basically yelling through the phone.

Haru felt her stomach and throat form into one giant knot, all breath taken out from her lungs.

She felt like she couldn't breathe.

But she was used to this pain.

"That's- That's amazing Kookie!" Haru strained out, hoping he couldn't hear anything wrong with her voice. "I'm sure she'll love getting to see you again."

Mei.

She was Jungkook’s girlfriend of three years.

She came to their high school for an exchange program in their senior year and Jungkook had never been the same. He was completely in love. Haru watched as they constantly flirted in art class and felt her heart shrivel up into dust every time.

After her exchange, she left back to Japan, but not before Jungkook could make her his girlfriend. They've been dating ever since.

Mei came to visit him all but once and Haru made sure she made herself scarce. She couldn't even hate Mei. She was a lovely person and treated Jungkook right. At this point, it was all Haru could ask for.

"Haru? HARU? Are you even listening?!" Jungkook raised his voice with playful annoyance. "Hmmm? Oh, yeah, I totally am."

"You're such a damn liar." Haru guffawed at his accusation. "You're no saint either, Mister Jeon."

"I actually like the sound of that coming from you."

And just like that, she was left speechless and a blushing mess. She watched in her peripheral vision as the purple on her left hand moved smoothly up to her elbows. Jungkook needed a damn filter or a slap to the face. He had a girlfriend for crying out loud.

"You should start calling me that at work," He announced gleefully. Haru couldn't tell if he was truly an idiot that didn't know any better or did it on purpose at this point. "Not a chance in hell, Kookie."

"You're right, I'll always like your nickname better." Haru bit her lip as a wide grin threatened to appear across her lips.

"Thanks. Well, I've got homework to get to so I'll talk to you later, okay?" She needed to escape before her heart exploded out of her chest. "Okay, see you tomorrow," Jungkook exhaled, dissatisfaction evident. "Oh, and Haru?"

"Yeah?" Haru's heart was thumping in her ears now and she just really wanted to think of something else. "Take care of yourself, yeah? You know you can trust me. Whenever you want to tell me what's actually bothering you, I'll be here to listen. Just- Don't hesitate, okay?” God, he just wasn't fair. Jungkook made loving him so easy.

"I'll tell you soon Kookie, I just need time. You take care of yourself too. I gotta go now, bye." Before he could reply she hastily hung up. Her heart was beating so rapidly now that she needed to take calming breaths.

Butter got up from his sleeping position on the bed to rub up against Haru and her mood instantly changed, her hands swirling from a vibrant purple to a hot pink. She petted Butter to her hearts content until her heart beats went back to normal.

Haru often wondered if she ever loved someone who she _knew_ loved her back, what color would her hands be?

\----------

"Wonho? Wonho. WONHO.”

Wonho felt a hand on his shoulder shaking him awake, but he clung on to the sleep trying to escape him thanks to whoever was attempting to wake him up; squeezing his eyes closed even more.

"WONHO!"

Wonho rubbed his eyes with his palms as he groaned. Why was life so cruel when the only relationship he wanted to keep was with his bed?

"Hey puffy bunny, let's go to the arcade, yeah?!" He heard Minhyuk say energetically.

Wonho's eyes shoot open at that, feeling a tinge of anger rise up in his chest. "Why can't you go alone? Did you seriously just wake me up for that?" He said with a pout and Minhyuk squeaked, holding a hand to his chest. "My heart might have just skipped a beat." Wonho laughed hard at his comment and Minhyuk let a satisfied grin take over his face. "Shut up," Wonho said lightly.

"Does that mean you'll go with me?" Minhyuk quickly asked, taking advantage of Wonho's mood change.

He sighed and smiled with his eyes closed once again, "Fine." Wonho gave in easily, he always did when it came to Minhyuk. He heard Minhyuk get up in excitement as he walked away to get dressed.

Wonho watched as purple shapes formed behind his eyelids like they always did when he was tired. A bit of silver mixed itself in with the purple this time and Wonho opened his eyes in shock.

An image of a girl with silver and purple hair staring at him as he tried to talk to his friends surfaced in his mind. She had been staring at him so intently that it made him want to jump out of his skin; he had fled Hyungwon's classroom with goosebumps all over his skin.

“It was the girl from the café,” he mumbled out in realization.

How hadn’t he recognized her before? Both times he had seen her, she was attentively staring at him, but it wasn't at his face like he was used to. No, what she was always staring at were his _hands_. Wonho didn't know why it made him feel so weird, but it did. He was more than curious as to why his hands were particularly interesting to her.

He didn't know what her deal was, but if fate would have it maybe one day he'd find out.

\----------

"I want to play that!" Minhyuk exclaimed like a child as he pointed frantically at a zombie shooting game.

"We just got here, how do you know what you want to play already?" Wonho eyed Minhyuk with curiosity.

"We come here a lot. You'd know that if you weren't such a workaholic," Minhyuk pouted with a bit of bite to his tone. Wonho flinched and closed his eyes, knowing that Minhyuk was right; but he was doing it for them and he didn't regret it. "That's why I brought you here. You need to let loose!" Minhyuk exclaimed as he ran toward the game.

Wonho grinned as warmth filled his body. Minhyuk was always someone he could count on to make him feel better or vent to; he was Wonho’s best friend.

He walked up to the machine to exchange his money into coins, a small smile playing on his lips as he inserted the money into the slot. As he waited for the coins to be deposited, he heard a melodic laugh and turned in the direction of its origin.

Wonho felt himself stop breathing. It came from a girl with silver and purple hair.

That same girl from the café and she was actually laughing and unafraid. It had to be her, because that hair color was beyond peculiar. He felt the same tightness inside his chest form.

Wonho just stood there staring straight at her, completely dumbfounded. He felt like he couldn't move. What were the odds that he'd see her again, especially the day after the strange encounter? And why did it even matter to him?

He heard the coins finish falling from the machine, but Wonho just coudn't bring himself to turn around.

She was playing a basketball game along with a guy and she was losing by a mile, but she kept laughing at everything he said to her. He was obviously only doing it to make her lose. Her boyfriend, he assumed.

_Maybe you should stop staring like a fucking creep Wonho._

Suddenly, he felt someone behind him. "Hey! What's taking so long?!" Minhyuk yelled and Wonho turned around to look at him.

"Ah… Sorry," Wonho said quietly from the surprise, but quickly recovered. "Let's get going because I'm gunna kick your ass," He teased and scooped up the coins in his hand, giving half to Minhyuk. "Tch, how can you kick my ass when I'm here practically every week?"

Wonho laughed heartily as he ran after Minhyuk, completely forgetting about the girl.

\----------

**_2 months later_ **

**Mid-March**

Wonho had finally changed his hair from the boring brown it had been for so long.

It was now blond with blue ends. He liked it a lot, but the rest of his brothers had laughed at him the first time they saw it and asked if it had been a mistake. He had proudly defended it, saying it looked like a wave on a sandy beach.

He had felt good about the change, that is- until Eunbi walked into the cafe and gushed over how much more handsome it made him. Now she came to the cafe every damn day.

Besides that, more importantly his composition class was kicking his ass. He had no time to think about how to resolve things and it stressed him out. If it wasn't for the fact that 75 percent of what he made went to paying bills and the apartment for him and his brothers, he would have quit long ago.

He just _hated_ confrontation.

So, to calm his mind and get some work done, he decided to start going to Jamsil Han River park. He loved the atmosphere and being outside helped his creativity flow better.

Today was different though. He couldn't for the life of him think of any lyrics to accompany the melody of his acoustic guitar.

"You're like..." Wonho mumbled to himself as he tapped his pen repeatedly on his notebook. He needed to get these lyrics down, damnit. A roughly completed song needed to be in his professor’s hands in two weeks.

Wonho looked up to the sky and watched as the tree branches above him swayed along with the wind. He leaned back on the bench and closed his eyes, feeling the wind across his face.

He didn't realize exactly when it was he fell asleep, but he drifted off into nothingness.

Nothing but purple and silver waves floated across his vision occasionally. Wonho never remembered this, but his subconscious was always reminding him of the storm that was about to ensue.

\----------

Haru wandered across the park with a heavy heart.

Camera in hand, she took pictures of the beautiful flowers that were starting to bloom in a beautiful array of colors.

Jungkook was leaving for Japan tonight.

Haru had work today, but decided to call off. She wasn't in the mood to see Jungkook so happy and bubbly, knowing full well she couldn’t be genuinely happy for him.

Hoseok was overly concerned when he had picked up the phone and Haru had told him she wasn't coming in. 'I just can't.... you know,' she had said in a sadder tone than expected. He immediately understood, of course. 'I wish you could move on, Haru. You deserve better.'

Oh, how she had wished the same for so many years.

Haru laughed bitterly at the sun setting sky and snapped a picture.

"Oh shit, are you a photographer now?"

What she thought was a random guy steps in front of Haru, his two other friends standing a few feet away from them both.

"Uh, not really? At least not yet, I'm studying to become one," she said as she stepped to the side of the guy, trying to get a better picture of the sunset. She hadn't bothered to take a good look at who it was because she honestly didn't care.

She _really_ should have.

Just as Haru pressed the shutter button, the guy ripped the camera from her hands and Haru felt her blood start to boil; her hands flaring a blinding red.

"Aye, but this is such a fancy camera! Can I take a picture of you? Smile!" He said as he aimed the camera in Haru's direction.

She looked up from her hands and felt nostalgia fill her throat and lungs. And not the good kind, either.

It was none other than Chanyeol.

There was a time where she was desperate to love someone else who wasn't Jungkook.

It was the biggest mistake of her life, saying yes to Chanyeol's confession. She should have known better than to think he actually liked her. He was nothing but verbally abusive and after 3 months she called it quits. Somehow, he knew the reason why and he swore to never let her live it down.

Haru never found out why he was so vindictive towards her and didn't care anymore. It was supposed to be in the past.

Unfortunately for him it was a bad day for Haru already, her patience was at a zero and he just decided to come up and be a shit head?

She wasn't having any of it.

"Give me back my camera, please," Haru said through gritted teeth, holding her hand out.

"Oh, but why? You've become so cute, stay still and smile for me," He said again as he pressed the shutter on the camera. Haru watched in her peripheral vision as the swirls on her outstretched hand flowed up to her elbow and turned into a dark crimson.

"Hey, maybe you should stop Chanyeol," One of his friends decided to speak up. "Why? What's she gunna do, Kyungsoo?" Chanyeol cackled out as he took a picture of himself.

"Please give me back my camera and fuck off Chanyeol," Haru managed out in a semi calmed voice as her fisted hands twitched at her sides.

"Well, damn, someone has a filthy mouth. What else can it do? I never got to find out," he said as he walked closer to Haru, face slowly twisting into disgust. "I saw you at that cafe, still following around Jungkook like a fucking lost puppy. You've always been such a pathetic bitch."

"And you've always been a toxic human being, I guess some things just don't change," Haru spit out as the crimson swirls wrapping around her hands flared up like fire. "Now give me back my camera."

"How did I ever like a girl like you? You have no class and like that shitty vomiting music. I should have known better," Chanyeol gritted out as he held the camera up in the air.

Despite it only being three months, they were absolute hell. She never told anybody about it either. What good would it have done? Jungkook and the rest would have beat the shit out of Chanyeol and would have been expelled as a result.

"Screw you. I did nothing wrong to you!" Haru said as she went up on her tip toes to reach for her camera, tears brimming her eyes from rage. She just didn't need to relive all these unwanted memories. She already had enough trouble loving herself for who she was, who the fuck was he to set her back?

She’ll be damned if she let him tear her down again. Not this time.

"Nothing wrong?! You left me for that bastard and he doesn't even love you back after all these years, you idiot!" He began to yell, getting louder with every word.

Haru paused and looked Chanyeol straight in the eye, "What makes you think I would have stayed with you even if I didn't love him? I may have used you, but I tried to love you genuinely. You were just the worst boyfriend!" Haru screamed out the last part in fury, Chanyeol's eyes blown wide and face full of surprise.

Did he not know how horrible he actually was?

It was a split-second decision as Haru kneed Chanyeol in the crotch, hard enough it made him fall to his knees; releasing his grip on her camera.

She quickly grabbed the camera and made a run for it, hearing 'You crazy bitch!' being yelled from behind her.

As she turned the corner for the path that lead to the street she hit something _hard_ , sending her flying to the ground. She must have ran into a wall because jesus fuck did it hurt when she fell, her reflexes not nearly fast enough to catch her camera on time before the lens shattered.

That hurt her right in her soul. Her camera was all she had that took her mind off her colors.

"Oh my god," she said aloud, staring straight at the tragedy in front of her. She was hardly in the right state of mind to realize she just knocked a person down herself.

"No no no. It can't- It's has to be-" she began to hyperventilate as she tried to get up, feeling an ache in her left elbow and upper arm.

"Hey, are you alright?" A familiar voice floated in through her ears and she turned to her right, mouth agape at what was before her eyes.

"You-" They both said in unison, complete disbelief painting both of their features.

_Why was fate so damn sadistic?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy<3  
> thank you for reading & commenting!


	5. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6, almost 7K words later... I have made a mess.

**Wonho.**

She _definitely_ remembered his name this time.

“I…” Wonho began and trailed off, but ruffled his hair and tried again. “Are you okay?”

Haru watched as the gold flecks on his hands mixed in with dark amber.

_Was he nervous?_

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine. Are y-”

“Haru, you crazy bitch! Where are you!?”

Chanyeol.

Why was he being so persistent? It’s not like they ever actually _meant_ anything to each other. The way he treated her was more than enough evidence of that.

“Fuck.” Haru breathed out as she went to pick up her camera, crouching as to not be seen. Her lens sat completely shattered a few feet away, but she thought maybe she could still save her camera by taking it to a shop.

“I’m so sorry for bumping into you,” She mumbled out, remembering that she hadn’t knocked into just _anyone_.

“Or more like I tackled you to the ground.” She took her gaze up to look at Wonho, the corners of his mouth slightly pointing upward into a soft smile as he sat there, his hands behind his back to prop himself up. Surprisingly, she felt her mouth mirror his.

“It’s okay, I think my guitar case got most of the hit anyway,” He radiantly chuckled out, as if the current situation didn’t bother him in the least. Haru gave in and briefly laughed at his light-hearted attempt to make her feel better about it, but Chanyeol’s fussing became even louder; the reality of the situation hitting her once again.

“Where the hell did she go?!” She heard Chanyeol shout and felt herself physically cringe.

“I can’t catch a break with this guy,” Haru hissed aloud as she fumbled with her camera and scooped it up, making a run for it down the sidewalk once more, completely forgetting about Wonho and her lens in the process.

After all, Haru thought, it wasn’t the first time she ran away from Wonho.

But this time it wasn’t his fault.

At least, not entirely.

She still felt a bit of uneasiness at the fact that she could see his colors. It felt like an invasion of privacy and it made her want to stay away from him that much more.

She was constantly being reminded though, that some things just couldn’t be prevented.

\----------

After running for a few blocks, Haru leaned against a convenience store's wall to catch her breath, her hands on her knees.

She wasn’t in the best shape.

Her lungs felt as if they were burning, ready to collapse and punish her for even thinking about running in the first place. “Shit,” She breathed out as she stood up with her back now against the wall, attempting to breathe in lungfuls of air, but barely succeeding.

As Haru attempted to breathe in for the hundredth time, gold flecks buried in light grey rushed past her vision and she choked midway, doubling over in a coughing fit. With her hands on her knees again, she felt her stomach twist into a knot. Haru knew without a doubt who it had been.

At least this time, he ran right past her and she hopefully wouldn’t have to see him again.

Haru heard footsteps approaching the convenience store and decided to move more to the side, to the edge of the wall so she wouldn't be in anyone’s way. She leaned her head back against the wall, this time with her eyes closed and her breathing more even now.

A few seconds later, she opened her eyes in hopes of having a relaxing gaze at the stars to further calm herself down, but instead felt a presence next to her on the wall that hadn't been there before.

“The moon’s really bright tonight,” He said in the most relaxed tone and posture, leaning a few inches away from Haru against the wall, his guitar case beside him. She looked at his hands and watched as the light gray swirling around his hands betray him. Light gray from what she knew meant that he must be worried about something, what though, she couldn’t really say.

Haru silently stared at the ground, not daring to look up at him.

Wonho _really_ needed to stop popping up out of nowhere. He was making her choice to stay away from him extremely difficult.

“Here, you forgot this, you know,” He lightly said, gently moving a broken lens into her line of vision. “I really thought it was a shame, because I heard from my good friend how expensive they can be,” He rambled on as she took the lens, trying her best not to touch him even though it was inevitable. Her fingers brushed against his open palm, the flecks of gold around it glowing a little brighter.

 _Well, that’s strange_.

“I knew I couldn’t let you just leave without it. So, I ran after you, but man, can you run fast!” Wonho giggled out. An amber hue once again appeared on his hands, slowly mixing in with the grey.

“I had honestly given up looking for you and came to get some ramen when I saw you hacking up your lungs.” He eyed her up and down, examining her current state. “I hope you’re alright, by the way.”

Haru is stunned into silence, speechless, not knowing what to say to him at first. All she could do was continue to stare at his hands as one thing registers in her mind.

“Ramen?” She faintly laughed as she looked up at him with her brows raised, curiosity getting the best of her.

He stared at her with slightly wide eyes and parted lips, seemingly dazed by something. “Thank you for your concern and for working so hard to get my lens back to me. It means a lot,” She continued with a genuine smile and pushed herself off the wall.

“You’re welcome. Although, shouldn’t you treat that? You have dry blood all over your elbow,” Wonho said as he cocked his head to the side, studying the wound from afar.

“Agh, _crap_ ,” Haru mumbled out as she inspected her chewed up elbow, dry blood spread out around it like an exploding firework.

“Why don’t we go inside?” He pointed to the convenience store behind him with his thumb, “I’m sure we can find something to clean it up with,” Wonho chuckled, no doubt at her choice of words, but she couldn’t help it.

Wait, we?

 _I don’t think so_ , her brain screamed, _not with him included_.

She tried her best to hide her reluctance to accept his offer, but her hands quickly turned into an amber hue, matching Wonho’s current color perfectly. “I…” She trailed off with an obvious look of discomfort plastered across her face, looking down at her lens as she tightened her grip on it.

Although Haru had seen Wonho a handful of times, she didn’t really know anything about him or what he was like. She didn’t want to know either.

“Or, I just…” Wonho glanced at the ground, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off creepy or anything.” He ran his hand through his blonde locks, blue tips fraying out into a little spiral as he let go. Haru barely realized that his hair color had changed since the last time she had seen him.

 _It suits him_ , she thought, but quickly reeled her thoughts back in.

“Well,” He huffed out cheerfully with his hands up in surrender, “The offer still stands, but I’m gonna go inside now. I’m kind of starving.” He grabbed his guitar case and turned around; going into the convenience store and heading straight for where the ramen should be.

She had noticed right before he turned away from her how his hands had turned a pale blue, the gold flecks floating around his hands almost sorrowfully. But why would he be sad or disappointed over the fact that she had rejected his offer?

As Haru’s mind raced and her confusion grew, so did her grip on her broken camera lens; until she clutched it with so much force her left thumb suddenly seared with pain.

“What the hell?” She murmured as she walked closer to the convenience store windows, holding out her left hand in the light to see a long gash running down her thumb. Her eyes switched rapidly from the lens to her thumb, unbelieving that she had just cut herself with it.

Haru felt something drip down her arm and sees a gash in her thumb now rapidly pumping out blood; her hands swiftly turning to a charcoal black in panic. “Oh, what the fuck! Are you serious right now?!”

Without much thought, she pushed her way into the convenience store, grabbing the attention of the girl at the register. She quickly walked over and whispered in urgency, “If I get stuff to stop the bleeding now, can I pay for it later? Please?!” Haru lifted her thumb higher for the girl, whose name tag read Saera, to see. Saera nodded in astonishment and Haru immediately rushed through the aisles while pressing her bleeding hand into her shirt, trying her best not to get blood everywhere.

After she struggled to gather everything she could with one hand, she made her way over to the only table in the corner of the store, dropping all the items down on top of it in a messy heap. She wasn't quite aware of her surroundings as she peeled away her hand from her oversized band shirt and saw the blood still flowing out of the cut, only a tad bit slower now.

“Woah! What happened in the five minutes I was gone?!” Wonho half screamed out with chopsticks in hand, microwaved ramen hanging from them. He was eyeing her cut, mouth agape in astonishment.

In utter shock at the sight of him, Haru froze what she was doing as her hands went a complete pitch black. She was only reminded of the fact that she was bleeding by the wet feeling that traveled down her forearm yet again. Instead of replying she grabbed the hydrogen peroxide and cotton balls, ready to clean up her thumb when she heard, “May I?”

She looked up at Wonho who was holding out a hand, an apprehensive smile on his face, already next to her and ready to help.

How could she refuse him twice, when all she could sense was his kindness and sincerity? Would it be so bad if she let him do this one thing?

Haru gave in and nodded, placing the cotton ball in his hand and watching how his colors flowed back to a wonderful gold. She felt herself get sucked into the fascinatingly beautiful color as he carefully wiped away the blood from her thumb. “Do you mind sitting? It’ll be easier for the both of us.” Wonho lowered her hand and let go of it, already grabbing another cotton ball to soak.

Haru slowly plopped herself down onto the seat across from where his ramen was, unattended. “If you’re still super hungry, I can do it myself. I’ll feel horrible if you’re starving yourself. You should eat,” She nervously muttered out.

Wonho sat down across from her, a small confident smile playing upon his lips as he shoved the ramen to the side. He placed his hand on the table, palm facing up, silently asking for her hand again and Haru complied, her nerves twisting her stomach into a tighter knot at his every touch.

“It’s alright, really. I was already eating my second one,” He stated proudly as he finished cleaning the wound on her thumb, moving to clean the blood on her palm and arm.

“Woah, you must really love ramen…” Haru said in awe, realizing that the first cup of ramen he had ate was stacked under the current one. His smile grew as he replied, “It’s my favorite thing to eat,” His eyes almost becoming crescents. He leaned in closer for precision and applied a large band-aid over her thumb.

“There,” he said smugly as he leaned back, “The antibacterial ointment should help heal it fast.”

“It didn’t even hurt when you were cleaning it,” Haru said, pleasantly surprised. “Thank you for being so gentle with my clumsy ass,” Haru blurted out before she could really think it over and heard Wonho burst out into laughter.

“Wow, you really know how to curse!” He said loudly as he shook his head, reaching out for his abandoned ramen, giggles rippling from him still. “I call it an art,” Haru whispered, giggling a bit herself.

“I must say,” Wonho said more quietly as he leaned in again, “That it does feel effortless.” He pouted and nodded his head in agreement. “It rolls off your tongue like poetry. That takes skill.” He pointed his chopsticks in her direction, his eyebrows raised to show her he meant it. “Why, thank you,” She satisfactorily gave a small bow from her seat, silently cackling at the strange compliment.

And then it hit her. She was going with the flow of things. The knot in her stomach had disappeared and her hands had become a pretty orange hue. What had triggered her sudden relaxation around him?

“Hey, I really am sorry for knocking you over,” Haru said seriously as she took a glance over at his guitar case propped up against the wall. Wonho looked at her from under his lashes, in the middle of taking a bite of his food. “If your guitar case or anything is damaged, I’ll pay for it.”

Wonho looked over at his guitar case, squinting at it as he finished chewing his ramen. “It’s really alright,” He stated and Haru relaxed more into her seat.

“But you owe me one hundred and sixty.”

Haru instantly shot up in her seat and leaned in, whispering in a shaking voice, “P-Pardon? One hundred and sixty…?” She didn’t want to believe that a guitar case could cost that much money.

“Yeah. One hundred and sixty.” He looked her dead in the eyes and she continued to stare back in trepidation. She couldn’t afford to give him any of that. Why had she even brought the subject up?!

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid as always Haru_.

She was still locked in a staring contest with Wonho, wondering if he would accept monthly payments when he suddenly bursts into laughter, leaving her beyond confused. What was so funny about her owing him that much money?!

“I’m kidding!” Wonho cried out as he bit his lip to prevent himself from laughing, hardly succeeding as he saw the realization wash over Haru’s face like a bucket of ice water.

“It wasn’t your fault and nothing happened to me or my things, but if you keep apologizing I might just have to start charging for that.” He grabbed his chopsticks again, swirling them around in the ramen, “For every sorry, I’ll charge you a fact about yourself.”

“Wow. We just met, but the urge to kick you in the shin is _very_ strong,” Haru said with a murderous gaze. She only felt this way toward the boys whenever they messed around with her, like the trolls they often were.

Wonho laughed into his ramen at the remark, composing himself enough to mutter out, “Why, thank you.” His face turned a brighter shade of red as he went on. “I’m flattered,” He said, bowing his head down a bit and putting a hand to his chest.

Haru didn’t really understand why, but they both lost it. They laughed so hard she had to dive right into her folded arms on the table to muffle her giggles that wouldn’t cease. They were easily making scene in the small convenience store with all their laughter.

After a minute of nonstop giggling, Wonho eventually calmed down first, breathing in deeply and taking a bite of his ramen contentedly.

As Haru calmed down herself, watching him eat the rest of his ramen with a smile still slapped upon her face, she realized how relaxed and content she felt. Of all people for her to feel this way around, why was it Wonho? Of course, she felt that way with her friends and Jungkook, but the type of serenity she was experiencing unnerved her. It was as if with him, her colors didn’t matter and she could just be herself.

But that was wishful thinking.

“W-Well, I should pay for all of this and go home.” Haru abruptly got up, “From the bottom of my heart, honestly, thank you for everything. Enjoy the rest of your meal.” She gave him one last small smile as she turned around to walk toward the register.

“Everything okay?” Saera asked Haru as she rung up the total for her. “Yeah, all better now,” Haru said as she showed Saera her bandaged thumb.

Just as Haru was ready to push open the door to leave, she heard Wonho’s voice yell out, “Wait!” He ran over to her and asked, “May I know the name of who I healed today?”

Wonho’s stare was expectant.

Meanwhile, Haru’s brain was screaming for her to give Wonho a fake name, but something else inside of her didn’t want to lie to him. “Haru… Noh Haru,” She timidly responded, gulping at the fact that he now knew her full name.

Why didn’t she just say her first name, like any other normal person?!

“Haru…,” He breathed in visibly, “I’m Shin Hoseok.”

\----------

“Shin Hoseok,” Haru mumbled to herself on the way to D&W the next day. She didn’t really know why it was bothering her so much that he hadn’t introduced himself to her as Wonho. Maybe he had his own personal boundaries himself, like you could only call him that if you knew him well enough? But that had to be wrong, she thought, because he had Wonho stamped on his name tag for work.

“Why am I even thinking so much into it?!” She screeched out on the sidewalk, passersby looking at her as if she were crazy.

She forgot she couldn’t really hear how loud she was being because of her headphones. Haru ducked her head in embarrassment, walking faster with her long purple-silver hair covering her face. The amber swirling around her hands appeared more than she would have liked these past few days.

Instead of letting her mind run wild with embarrassment, she distracted herself with mumbling the words to the current song blasting in her ears.

A few minutes later, she excitedly opened the door to D&W, ready to see the boys that filled her with so much joy and happiness.

\----------

“Hey, Haru!” Yelled a particularly cheerful Hoseok as she walked up to the café counter, the afternoon rush completely calmed now with only a few customers scattered around the tables. “Why hello there my favorite sunshine!” Haru said back with glee, her amber swirls turning to a bright yellow.

“What are you doing here?” Hoseok asked, “You’re working the bar and that’s not until a lot later,” He pouted in thought. “I know, I just got really bored at the apartment and I wanted to see you guys already, to be honest.” Hoseok immediately beamed his precious smile in her direction and Haru felt her chest spread with nothing but warmth and love for the boy. “There’s not much to do here though, so I think you’re going to be equally bored.” Hoseok laughed out, just as Taehyung came into view, dragging himself and whining dramatically.

“What’s up with him?” Haru asked in an amused tone with an eyebrow raised. “Ahhh, Haru, please, please, please, save me!” Hoseok gave Taehyung a disgusted look as he smacked himself onto the counter, which she assumed Hoseok had yet to clean. “I just… I did an all-nighter with Jimin for our psychology class and I feel so _dead_.”

“Why don’t you drink some coffee? You do work at a café, you know?” Haru replied incredulously. Taehyung was an adorable little fluff ball, indeed, but sometimes she wanted to smack him into next week. Taehyung flew up at her words, grasping the front of his apron as he continued his dramatics, “Look, I’ve tried! But if I’m being honest, Hoseok and I fucking suck at making coffee!” An offended squeal was heard from Hoseok as Taehyung continued, “I honestly don’t know why Jungkook put us in the café in the first place.”

“Speak for yourself! I know how to make excellent coffee, thank you very much,” Hoseok retorted with as much attitude as he could muster. “Hoseok, you’re just a little better than me, but you still suck,” Taehyung deadpanned, only to break out into laughter the next minute, Hoseok throwing a dish rag at him in mock anger. Haru just stared at the exchange and wondered how she got so lucky with this ridiculous group of boys.

“Haru, please, save me!”

“Do you want me to make you one, Tae?” Haru replied in a gentle tone, babying him as she always did. She just couldn’t help it.

“No! Although, don’t get me wrong, I love your coffee, but I’ve been craving this green tea latte that I had at this one place. I keep forgetting what it’s called though.” Taehyung raised his hand to his face, tapping his index finger on the tip of his nose in thought.

“Well, that helps me out a lot…” Haru giggled out. “Ah! No, wait, that’s not it either,” he said with his brows now pinched together in confusion. “Ahhh, are you talking about that one place we went to with Namjoon and Jin?” Hoseok chimed in, his own brows pinched together as well.

“Wait, so you guys are going to places without me?!” Haru tried to accuse, right as Taehyung shouted, “AH! Yes, that one! It’s called Tease Coffee or something like that right?!”

Haru felt the blood drain from her face as she gripped the bottom of the counter, trying to keep a straight face to not show the panic that wanted to bubble over at the mention of _that_ café. “Yeah! The atmosphere was really weird, but the coffee was so damn delicious!” Hoseok smiled in her direction only to have it fall a fraction. She must have looked like she’d seen a ghost.

“I-I think I’ve seen it before. I could bring you some if you guys want, then?” Haru asked. If it meant it made the boys happy, she’d swallow up all the panic and march over there with a smile. “Pleaaase, Haru!”

Haru nodded in agreement, a sinking feeling in her stomach as Taehyung jumped around in excitement. “You’re the best!” He said in fits of giggles as he leaned over the counter to hug her. “Anything for you TaeTae, but you owe me one.” She laughed at his slight pout as he leaned back, then continued to jump around while hugging her. “Hey, hey, hey, that’s enough already. Get back to work, Tae. Jungkook might have left, but he left me in charge. Shoo!” Hoseok smacked Taehyung in the butt with a rag as Taehyung proceeded to run to the back, deep chuckles fading away.

“That kid is something else,” Hoseok huffed out, now turning his attention toward Haru.

“Have you talked to him?”

“Have I talked to who?” Haru tried her best to play dumb, not wanting to talk about the topic of Jungkook at the moment, but knew Hoseok would eventually pry it out of her. She looked down at her shoes, lifting her foot and drilling the point of her boot into the carpet. “You know exactly who I’m talking about, Haru,” Hoseok replied in a gentler tone than she expected. “Have you talked to him since he left?” He tilted his head to the side to get a better look at her face which was very much being covered by her colorful strands.

“No, I haven’t,” Haru said, biting the inside of her bottom lip. “I don’t think I can do it, Hobi.” Hoseok walked out from behind the counter to where she was, and gave her a hug that she didn’t know she very much needed. As he hugged her, he consoled her the only way he knew how. “Haru, I know it hurts, but you’ll get there. I really want you to find someone, you know? I want to see you happy, too.”

“I am happy though,” Haru mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, “I don’t need a guy to be happy. I have you guys and that’s enough for me.” She leaned back, but still held onto Hoseok as she softly smiled, “All I need is my family.”

“We know, kid. I just don’t like to see you suffer.” He hugged her one last time before letting go. “And it wouldn’t be so bad to have a new face around here. We may be family, but I’m getting sick and tired of you all!” He whisper-yelled.

“Shut up, you know you love us to pieces!” Haru said as she got ready to head out the door, sticking her tongue out at Hoseok for fun.

“Yeah, unfortunately!” He hollered out as the customers looked at him, irritated.

Haru was approaching the door when he shouted out to her once again, “Haru! Call him! Before you get your ass back here for your shift, you better have called him already!”

Haru went through the door and swiftly turned around to flip him off, watching how the door closed slowly on Hoseok’s surprised expression.

\----------

Haru plugged in her headphones for the ten-minute walk to Tease, pressing shuffle only to be reminded once again of Jungkook by the song. It was one of her favorites, one of _their_ many favorites as music lovers. She mouthed the words out of reflex, feeling the familiar ache in her chest as her hands went from the sparkling yellow Hobi had made her feel, to a dark purple.

_“What if I wanted to fight  
Beg for the rest of my life  
What would you do?”_

Haru scrolled through her most recent calls, staring at Jungkook’s name labeled as ‘Kookie❤️’ as she walked.

_“You say you wanted more  
What are you waiting for?  
I'm not running from you”_

She had thought that if she felt the familiar ache of her constant shattering heart, she wouldn’t miss him as much.

_“Look in my eyes  
You're killing me, killing me  
All I wanted was you”_

Haru, of course, had been lying to herself yet again. She missed him so much and it had hardly been even a day since she’d last seen him.

It was ridiculous.

How many times would her heart break into tinier pieces until she understood for good that Jungkook would never love her the way she wanted? Why wasn’t it enough that he loved her so much just as it was, as friends?

It endlessly frustrated her.

She watched the purple turn darker by the second, almost a pitch black now as she looked up and spotted her destination across the street.

She adjusted her beanie as she waited for the signal to turn green, mentally preparing herself for what was to come.

_“Come, break me down  
Bury me, bury me  
I am finished with you, you, **you** ”_

“I wish I could be,” Haru whispered out just as the light turned green.

\----------

She timidly opened the door to Wonho’s workplace, holding her breath as she crossed the threshold into the café.

It was exactly like the last time she had been here, the medium-sized café filled with mostly female customers. Haru let out a breath as she walked up to the register and found that the one behind the register was the timid boy from last time, named Seungjun.

She saw him visibly flinch as she approached and felt a twinge of guilt come upon her. “I’m going on my break right now,” he said as she stood there, “Let me find someone to help you out.” Haru opened her mouth to say something but closed it as Seungjun rushed through the door behind the counter.

“God damnit,” She mumbled out, looking around the café as she waited. She had hoped that Wonho wouldn’t be working at the very least, but as she scanned the room she sees a mop of blonde and blue come across her vision, with striking gold emitting from his hands. “Wonderful,” She mumbled to herself again.

She observed Wonho as he swiftly made his way to another table with a single girl, flashing his bright smile at her. “How odd,” Haru muttered as she gazed at his hands, which were no longer a gold, but a pitch black much like hers. “Maybe he saw me,” She joked, laughing to herself as she heard the door behind the counter creak open.

“Well, well, it’s nice to finally see you again, baby doll,” Kyungil smugly said, smirking at her as her face dropped, any sign of joy or happiness gone from her face. “Trust me, it wasn’t out of pure will. Don’t be too flattered,” She replied with a smile. “Fiesty, just like last time. I like it,” he said as he punched something into the register with his finger, then asked, “What you would like, princess?” With a devilishly beautiful smile.

“Can I have a green tea latte and an iced americano, please?” Haru tried her best to be polite as she ordered, holding in the urge to smack Kyungil as he snuck glances at her. “Six dollars and fifty cents, please, love.” Haru reached into her bag and pulled out ten dollars, a flashback of handing the same amount to Wonho making her hesitate for a second, but hands it to Kyungil nonetheless. “They’ll be right out, you can sit down at one of the tables in the meantime, o-”

“Haru?”

She felt goosebumps immediately rise upon her skin at the sound of her name from him. Haru had almost engraved that voice into her memory by now, just as she had the boys’ voices and Jungkook’s.

Why couldn’t she at least have her way with being able to avoid him?

She slowly turned in the direction the voice came from, finding a brightly smiling Wonho standing with his hands shoved into his apron pockets. “I didn’t expect to ever see you again,” He said with a bit of surprised glee in his voice. Haru gulped as she glanced back at Kyungil.

 _Oh god_.

“You know who my baby doll is, Wonho?” Kyungil said in shock. “Why haven’t you introduced me to her?!”

Wonho stared at Kyungil with his mouth open, then repeatedly looked from Haru to Kyungil in confusion. “I didn-”

Before Wonho could continue, Haru turned around and made her way to sit at a table in a far corner. She didn’t know why Kyungil was being that way towards her. Even if he was interested, which she was sure he was not, that wasn’t the best way to go about it. But then her eyes widened at the fact that she had left Wonho there, without acknowledging him or saying a thing to him.

Wasn’t it better that way though, if she just wanted to cut off everything that had to do with him? But, no, she didn’t feel that way anymore, it seemed.

She hadn’t had a real conversation with him before yesterday, so it had been easy, but now… she didn’t think she could feel the same hatred she had originally harbored toward him. It wasn’t even his fault and she knew it. She had repeated that fact to herself a million times after the first time she came into the café. More than anything, she was just angry at herself and he had nothing to do with it.

This would always be a struggle within herself that nobody else could understand.

“Ah, why are you so stupid Haru…” She whispered as she plopped her head above her arms on the table.

After a minute or so, she heard footsteps come her way and stop at her table. Haru moved her head to the side and was met with Wonho’s curious gaze staring right back at her. “Your drinks, my lady,” He said with his eyes never leaving hers. “Oh. Thank you, Wo-” She saw him raise an amused eyebrow and quickly corrected herself “Hoseok.”

“Can you come back to the register?” Wonho asked and Haru squinted at him with a pout as she straightened up, not sure what he was really getting at. “Please?”

“Okay…” Haru said, still not putting her full trust in him.

She followed him as he lead the way back to the register and felt like she was being watched somehow, a small shiver running down her spine. She looked around the café and spotted the girl Wonho had been serving when his hands had turned black, boring holes into her skull. As she arrived at the register, Haru glanced one last time in the girl’s direction only to find her staring right at her still.

Haru suddenly felt really uncomfortable, the hair on the back of her neck standing up.

“Here you go, Haru,” Wonho’s voice floated gently into her ears and she zeroed in on what was in his hands. He was holding a drink out to her, but she already had the two that Hoseok and Taehyung wanted.

“But, I already have the two I paid for,” She thoughtlessly said and instantly regretted it. “Ah, I know, but this is for having to deal with Kyungil. I know how much of a pain in the ass he can be,” He smiled softly at her and she saw her hands turn from pitch black to a light green as she reached for the drink, the thought that he did this for her making her feel strange. There was no need for him to care about her or to be so nice.

Could there be an ulterior motive or was he just naturally this way?

She watched the color that meant she was pleasantly calm swirl around her hands smoothly as she gripped the drink. It was a color that she hardly saw come from her hands.

“Let me know what you think of it, I made it myself,” Wonho continued as he stared at her, his gold swirls giving away his excitement as they climbed up his hands. “You really didn’t have to, but thank you…”

Haru felt a light blush creep up her cheeks. She didn’t really know how to deal with the situation and her hands quickly turned into a light pink of embarrassment. So, her brain decided why not make the situation even more embarrassing, as she added, “I noticed yesterday, but forgot to tell you. Your new hair colors. They’re really nice.”

Her eyes grew wide as the realization of what she said washed over her.

She just complimented him out of nowhere, for no reason at all.

_Oh god, I just made this beyond awkward._

Why did she feel like such bumbling idiot when she was in front of him?

“Really? Thank you!” Wonho said as he shyly laughed, his eyes scrunching into adorable crescents and a light blush appearing on his own cheeks.

“My friends have been talking so much shit about it lately, I was thinking about changing it back.” He grabbed a strand and slightly pulled it down, examining it in wonder, as if he were looking at it for the first time.

He let go of it quickly as he got back to work.

“How’s your hand?” He asked, Haru eyes going straight to the band-aid she had applied that morning. “It’s a lot better now, thanks again.” He pressed his lips together into a smaller smile as he wiped down the counter, the blue tips of his hair falling into his eyes.

Haru couldn’t help but find him cute. As she often felt with her boys, she had the urge to reach over the counter and pinch his seemingly soft cheeks. “That’s good, and your elbow too?”

Haru nods a bit enthusiastically, to get the message across that she was absolutely fine. Wonho chuckled at her wordless answer.

Haru realized though, that she should leave and get the drinks back to the boys before they melt. She started to pick the drinks up one by one when he noticed and quickly stopped her. “Let me get you something to carry all of that,” Wonho said as he left to the back.

She set them back down on the counter, staring at her own drink as her stomach bubbled in want. She decided to take a sip and instantly felt the delicious drink make all her senses tingly, the coffee in it strong but pleasant.

“Did you pay for that, too? I only remember making you two,” She heard Kyungil snicker. “Well, no, but-”

“Are you bothering her again, Kyungil?” Wonho said as he came behind him and did something to him that Haru couldn't quite see, but Kyungil’s face scrunched up in what seemed like pain. “I was just asking where she got that extra drink from,” He screeched out and Wonho shoved him forward, revealing how Wonho had Kyungil’s arm pinned to his back. “As I was saying,” Haru projected her voice just a bit louder, “Hoseok made it for me.”

“Who the hell is Hoseok?” Kyungil blurted out. “I don’t remember ever working with a Hoseok, do you?” He directed the question to Wonho and he quickly released Kyungil’s arm, handing the thin cardboard cup holder to Haru. “It’s none of your business, stop being so nosy.”

“Oh, and Kyungil? Can you go attend to Eunbi? You know how she gets,” Wonho sent Kyungil a childish smile and Haru observed as Kyungil flipped Wonho off from under the counter. Without meaning to, Haru let out a small laugh.

Kyungil’s eyes lit up at that, quickly going around the counter and sidling up next to her. “You have such a beautiful smile, may your day be equally as beautiful, love,” He whispered into her ear as Haru flinched from the feeling of his breath on her neck. Kyungil tilted his head, a sexy grin plastered on his face.

“Kyungil, stop being a damn creep and get to work,” Wonho said through gritted teeth. Kyungil started to take a few steps away from Haru but turned around swiftly to blow a kiss at her before he stalked off.

“What a cheesy man,” Haru mumbled out in both disbelief and amusement.

“That’s Kyungil for you.”

They both stared at him as he arrived at the table of the girl who was very much still staring at Haru.

“Okay, I should go. Thanks for everything,” She said as she backed away from the counter with a toothy smile, “It’s delicious, by the way.”

Haru turned toward the door and left, the last thing she saw being Wonho’s eye smile.

\----------

A bubbly feeling in his chest.

He couldn’t really decipher _why_ he was feeling it.

So, when he flopped onto the couch next to Hyungwon after work, he felt restless.

“What’s wrong with you?” Hyungwon turned to him, irked eyes sizing him up and down.

Wonho, sinking half way down the couch, turned to look up at him lazily. “I don’t even know.” As he stared at Hyungwon, he couldn't help but giggle the tiniest bit. He didn’t know if he had finally snapped from lack of sleep or something else entirely.

“Okay… weirdo.” Hyungwon huffed out, still staring down at Wonho with furrowed brows. “Are you coming to the venue with us today?”

“You guys are playing _again_? Where?” Wonho sunk further down the couch until his butt sunk to the ground and decided the cool floor was more comforting, laying down on it instead. “Uh…” Hyungwon tried to hold in his laughter as he continued, “At D &W, where you replaced me last time because I couldn’t go.”

“Ah... But you can go now, right?” Wonho stared up at Hyungwon from the floor with unjudging eyes.

Wonho wished he could approach the subject of him moving in with them again, but it was a sensitive one. Last time he had, it had ended up in a physical fight between them both. Granted, he could have worded what he said about Hyungwon’s father better, but for lack of better words, he was a piece of shit. Hyungwon deserved better.

“Yeah. I can go,” Hyungwon grinned.

“Wait, so then why do I have to go? I’m tired!” Wonho rubbed away the sleepiness he was feeling, the comfortable floor secretly lulling him to sleep.

“For support, what else?!” Hyungwon got up from the couch, gripping Wonho’s leather jacket collar to pull him up off the ground, “So get ready, because you’re the one that takes forever out of all of us.”

Wonho smirked at the scolding. He sounded like a father. Shouldn’t that be his role?

“You guys are just jealous I have the best fashion sense,” he yelled as he walked away, the bubbly feeling in his chest still lingering.

He figured, if they were making him go out, he’d make sure to have a damn good time.

Wonho grabbed some clothes and jumped into the shower, singing the lyrics he had written last night.

_“You’re like the blue moon_

_That reflects on the ocean…”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating sooner, but this chapter was such a beast.  
> after having huge writer's block for this story, when I started I just couldn't stop.  
> I have edited this chapter to fucking death.  
> My god.  
> But I really hope you all enjoy and thank you for waiting for it<3


	6. Find You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _A mess of a filler.....hhhhhhh_

The day had been a strange one for Haru. Seeing Wonho was always a puzzling experience for her and it left her feeling quite bizarre.

Although, she didn’t get to dwell too long on their latest encounter because her strange day quickly turned sour.

“Haru!” She heard Hoseok yell as she was walking in from the back, carrying a large box of beer with a bit of a struggle. “What is it?” Haru shouted back, voice a bit muffled from the box. Suddenly, the box was lifted from her hands and there stood Hoseok, effortlessly hauling the box onto his shoulder.

“Tch,” Haru hissed, eyeing him up and down judgingly.

“Have you called him?” He asked as Haru walked in front of him in the small hallway leading to the venue. “I have,” She said, her voice void of emotion. “He didn’t answer.” She stopped walking, hearing him abruptly stop behind her. “So, can you please drop it?” She was trying her best to hide how much it hurt, but she guessed that snapping at him was an easy giveaway.

“Why wouldn’t he answer you...?” Hoseok questioned, more to himself in shock than actually asking.

“I really don’t have the time for this. I have shit to do.” And with that, Haru walked away from him, her hands an annoyingly deep purple, dark blue slowly mixing in with it.

\----------

“I really can’t work like this,” Haru groaned to herself as she went behind the bar and took out a bottle of vodka, taking a shot without hesitation.

“Woah, what’s up with you? You know we have to work in thirty minutes, right?” Jimin said with furrowed brows, but his tone full of amusement. “Oh, I only took one shot, shut it,” Haru rolled her eyes, putting the vodka bottle back where it belonged. “Yeah, but you’re a lightweight,” Jimin laughed out as he walked up next to her.

“I repeat. It. Was. One. Shot.” Haru pinched his left cheek, already feeling light with an energizing burn in her throat and veins. “You’re scaring me already,” Jimin joked, putting the clean glasses into their respective shelves.

“Who else is working with us, by the way?” Haru questioned while checking if all the beer taps were working properly. “I think it’s just gonna be Yoongi and us,” Jimin replied nonchalantly.

Haru’s face brightened up at that, feeling a mischievous mood come over her.

Tonight would be great.

She could feel it.

\----------

_Purple and silver._

_Purple and silver swirling around his empty mind again._

_They were beautiful, almost calling out to him in the pitch-black darkness._

“Wonho, did you really just come here to sleep?!” Minhyuk yelled into his ear, effectively waking him up from the pleasant nap he seemed to be having.

“What else do you want me to do?!” Wonho shouted back with his eyes still forcibly shut tight, almost painfully. All he wanted was sleep. His classes were still very much kicking his ass.

“Play with me!” Minhyuk demanded childishly, shaking Wonho’s frame with both of his hands. He always knew which buttons to push to irritate the shit out of Wonho, but Wonho also knew how to shut him up just as quickly. Wonho casually stretched his arm out and grabbed Minhyuk by the neck into an effortless choke hold. “Shut up while I sleep, you little demon,” Wonho growled.

Minhyuk was trying his best to wriggle out of his vice-like grip and nearly succeeded until Wonho got up from his position on the couch, now dragging him around the room by the neck.

“You’re going to snap his neck in half, Wonho,” Kihyun said as he walked in, sighing at the sight happening in front of him. “Well, he wanted to wake me up from my nice nap to play. So, we’re playing now,” Wonho responded with a smile, proceeding to jostle and drag Minhyuk around like a rag doll. “If that’s the case, have fun,” Kihyun smiled back and proceeded to walk to the table filled with food.

“Are you really not gonna help me?!” Minhyuk cried out, staring incredulously after Kihyun. “Oh my god, OW! Wonho, I’m sorry. Please stop!” He screeched while half giggling. “Are you going to keep waking me up from all my naps?” Wonho said to the repeated offender.

“Guys, it’s time,” Hyungwon announced as he came into the green room, already laughing at the shenanigans going on.

He came closer to Wonho and Minhyuk, separating the two cooly. “I have to talk to you,” Hyungwon whispered to Wonho as he shoved Minhyuk towards the door. Wonho raised a brow at that, wondering why he was being so secretive for.

They both walked over to a corner of the green room as Kihyun and Minhyuk filed out, Minhyuk rubbing his now very red neck.

“I want to do a special stage with just the two of us,” Hyungwon began, “I’ve already talked to the guys about it and they’ve agreed.” Hyungwon hesitated for a second before continuing, “If you want to do it, of course.” Wonho’s mouth fell open, completely caught off guard, but he should have known Hyungwon had been up to something from the very start.

“Will you do it with me?” Hyungwon asked, his big brown eyes boring into Wonho’s.

He didn’t want to.

_Hell no._

But there Hyungwon was, staring at him with his huge puppy eyes and Wonho could feel his strong grasp on the wall he had built loosen just a bit.

“What song would we even play?” Wonho sighed out, looking at Hyungwon in utter confusion and a bit of panic. “I’ll sing, and you can just play the acoustic. Let’s do that one song you wrote a while ago.” Hyungwon smiled widely as if he knew he had already convinced Wonho.

“The one my professor rejected…? Why that one? I have others that might be better than that now, I can-”

“I really like from zero though,” Hyungwon stood his ground firmly, the wide smile never leaving his face. “Please?”

“Fuck.” Wonho looked up at the ceiling, feeling a touch of regret already bubbling in his stomach at the decision. “Alright,” Wonho agreed, running a shaking hand through his hair. “Let me just get myself together. Come and get me when it’s time,” He replied to Hyungwon, who was already ecstatic and going through various facial expressions of happiness. “Oh, and I’m wearing a beanie and a mask. I’m not exposing myself to your fangirls,” He points at Hyungwon with a brow raised.

“Did you bring any of that with you, though?” Hyungwon laughed, knowing that no, Wonho had not. “I don’t know where you’re gonna get it from, but if I’m doing this, I want that beanie and mask,” Wonho said firmly. He turned to sit on the couch, grabbing his phone from the armrest to scroll through the lyrics he had written almost half a year ago.

“I’ll figure it out, just be ready!” Hyungwon cheerfully said as he ran off.

Despite not wanting to expose himself to their entire fanbase, Wonho couldn’t stop his own excitement from building up. The thought of being on stage and playing a song he created made him nervous. The good kind of nervous. He wondered if the audience would actually like a song that he had made, all by himself.

After the song had been rejected by his lyric writing professor, he had buried that song amongst the other casualties.

But maybe, today was the day that his arduous work would shine.

“ _Maybe_ ,” He whispered to himself.

\----------

Haru was serving a loyal customer when she heard the crowd cheer.

“Do you know who’s playing tonight?” Junhong asked from the other side of the bar, Haru currently mixing a white russian for him as the venue music began to fade out. “No, I don’t actually.” She took a quick glance to the side, wondering if she could ask Jimin or Yoongi, but found them busy with customers as well.

The venue _was_ pretty full for a weekday and she wondered why that was.

“Well, the band that’s playing must be pretty good for the venue to be this full,” Junhong said, taking a swig of his drink. “I’m excited,” he grinned at her and Haru grinned right back. He had a point and she was thoroughly intrigued.

“Yeah, you’re so lucky you get to let loose and enjoy yours-” She had nearly finished the sentence, but the band came out on stage and her mouth went slack in response.

It was _his_ band.

It was Wonho’s band.

She freaked out over that fact for about two seconds before she realized that he wasn’t there. She scanned the stage for him repeatedly, but he was nowhere to be found. In his place for the guitar stood a tall, slim boy; a wide smile shining out towards the crowd as he came up to his mic.

“Did you guys miss me?” His voice carried over pleasantly to the crowd and they cheered in reply. He laughed into the mic, an adorably shy laugh at that, and said, “For those who don’t know, I’m Hyungwon and we’re Monsta X. Please enjoy and don’t be afraid to have fun.”

“Alright, alright, we get it Hyungwon. Shut it. This first song is called ‘Oi.’ I want to see you guys jump!” The frontman whose hair was still very much pink, shouted out and the crowd immediately went wild as the first chord was played.

“That’s intense,” Junhong grinned in astonishment. Haru observed as he slowly inched off his bar stool and was at the edge of it when he turned to look at her. “Can you watch my drink for me, Haru? I’ll be right back!” Haru nodded, swiftly taking his drink to put it behind the bar and watched him weave his way through the crowd until he wound up exactly where he wanted to be, in a rapidly expanding mosh pit.

Usually, Haru would be feeling jealous. She loved a good mosh pit and right now, the crowd was raging with energy. It was always such a beautiful sight to her.

But more than any of that, she felt a bit of disappointment that Wonho wasn’t there and the realization made her perplexed. Sure, she had resolved that the guy was nice and she no longer harbored any hatred toward him, but to want to see him was just a whole other level she didn’t think was necessary.

Why would she be disappointed about him not being here?

It was absurd.

Haru shook her head and looked around to check if there were any other customers she could attend to, but the only ones at the bar had already been served and were watching the band with enthusiasm.

“Why are you pouting?” Yoongi’s deep voice whispered into her ear as he leaned an arm on her shoulder. “Hm? I’m pouting?” Haru replied, still observing Monsta X. “Yeah, you are. Is something the matter?” He asked, now turning to observe Monsta X as well.

“Everything’s fine,” Haru assured, turning towards Yoongi with an eye smile she knew would placate him. She then drilled a finger right into his side, poking him relentlessly. “Kid, stop it. Don’t make me chase you around this tiny bar. You know you’ll never win,” Yoongi said in one breath, all while still ogling at how Monsta X drove the crowd wild.

“You wouldn’t dare. We’re on the clock,” Haru squinted toward Yoongi suspiciously. He was full of empty threats. “Go ahead, then. Try me,” He smirked, still facing forward. That was all it took for her itching mischievousness to take over. She poked him this time, so hard she was sure she saw him cringe for a millisecond before he turned his attention to her, mock anger taking over his features. “That’s it.”

Haru wasn’t sure what made her want to run. Maybe it was the dead stare he gave her as he said those words or maybe it was the subtle step he took forward that screamed for her to run for her life before he ringed her neck. “You really have a death wish.” She let out a small squeak as she backed her way out of the narrow bar and started to run towards the crowd. As she weaved through the people at the very back, she caught a glimpse of Yoongi making his way lazily over to where she was, his eyes still very much locked on her.

An odd sound escaped her mouth as she turned to push through the crowd again until she was smack in the middle of a circle pit. As much as the urge to lose Yoongi was there, the excitement from the pit and the music coming from the speakers filled her senses and she instinctually got lost in it all. Without another second of useless thinking, she fell into step with everyone else that was currently running in a circle, shoving and pushing each other as they felt the music course through their veins. It was a such a wonderful feeling.

A feeling Haru thought she could never replace.

The song came to an end rather quickly, the circle pit dying down with it. The drummer that looked like a life-sized teddy bear announced said title being called ‘Trespass’ and Haru thought that she really should look them up, because their music was really something else. She took out her phone to do just that when she felt arms come around her shoulders and draw her in.

“Boo.”

“Say, Yoongi,” She began in a sing-song tone, “Do you think you could let me off easy, just this once?” Haru kept her gaze forward as she asked the ridiculous question, watching the Monsta X boys rearrange the stage for what seemed to be an acoustic song.

Her mind immediately went to Wonho on that same stage with his acoustic guitar and wondered if they’d be singing the same song, which she found to be hauntingly alluring. “Not a chance in hell kid, you’re cleaning the entire venue by yourself tonight.” Haru felt her shoulders drop at the thought of having to clean the small, yet horribly trashed venue all by herself. “Are you serious?! Isn’t that too intense of a punishment over a few pokes?” She heard Yoongi click his tongue right by her ear and flinched. He knew she hated when he did that. “Not really. Maybe it’ll teach you to listen to your elders next time.”

“God damnit,” She exhaled with a pout just as the slim boy named Hyungwon made his way up to a mic again, calmly adjusting it and taking a seat on a plain black box. “Alright, so…” He fidgeted with his sweaters sleeves a bit before he continued again, “This is a song I have wanted to perform for quite some time now, but the other person had refused to come on stage until now. So, if you could give him a warm welcome and enjoy yourselves, it’d mean the world to us.”

The side stage door could momentarily be heard and out came a guy with a familiar beanie and mask onto the stage. Before Haru could fully complete her train of thought, another fact smacked her right in the face that left her breathless.

_It was Wonho._

Of course, it was Wonho. Despite everything he was wearing to cover himself up, she could clearly see his gorgeous glowing hands, the flecks dancing around almost nervously. The gold color that was now permanently engraved into her memory flowed around his hands as he quickly bowed and grabbed his guitar. All the while, Haru felt like she hadn’t taken a single breath of air. It was as if she was seeing everything happen in slow motion, in fractions of a second that made her heart rate speed up for no reason at all. “What’s this guy’s deal? He didn’t even introduce himself or anything,” Yoongi spoke from behind her, his arms still wrapped around her. “Huh?” She replied stupidly, still not quite recovered from what was happening.

“My partner doesn’t like talking much, but he created this beautiful song all by himself and I’m sure you’ll end up loving it as much as I do.” The lanky boy turned his eyes toward Wonho, who was tuning his guitar before giving him a thumbs up. “This song is called ‘From Zero.’”

As soon as Hyungwon sang the first words, the first note even, Haru could feel a pain in her chest start to form. She knew Yoongi could feel her breathing get heavier, but she didn’t care. It was a lovely song and as most songs did, it reminded her of Jungkook. And she hated it.

She hated that fact so much. She took a glance at her nearly black hands and felt the familiar ache start to form.

A vivid picture surfaced into her mind. Behind her eyes she could see Jungkook having the time of his life with Mei, all the while forgetting that she even existed.

_“We can’t erase everything  
We can’t forget everything”_

Just as she was drowning in despair, she felt a pair of eyes on her that were definitely not Yoongi’s and looked up at the stage. Wonho sat there, playing the guitar with his sparkling gold hands and eyes fixated on her. At least, she could only assume as much, taking her gaze around the crowd to see if there was any other possibility. When she turned her attention back to the stage she saw how his eyes curved into crescents and she just knew that he was smiling blindingly.

_“If we can’t turn things back  
I want to start from today”_

The familiar ache was slowly being pushed away by a warmth and Haru’s breathing began to normalize as she focused on Wonho’s golden hands playing his song.

_“If I can’t turn it back  
I want to start over now”_

Haru didn’t realize how much it had helped her then.

_“Let’s write our story from zero”_

Not Yoongi’s arms which were still hovering around her, but _his color gold_.

\----------

“Here, put these on.”

“Where did you even get these?” Wonho asked in disbelief. The mask and beanie didn’t particularly look new and he knew they didn’t belong to any of his brothers.

“Just put them on and hurry up on stage, Hyungwon’s waiting for you,” Kihyun began to nag, a piece of fruit hanging from his mouth to go along with his scowl toward Wonho.

Wonho huffed out some nerves as he said his parting words, “Let’s just hope I don’t embarrass myself or anything, then.”

As he walked out of the green room he could hear Kihyun yelling, “Don’t worry! We’ll be recording the whole thing, if you trip up the stairs or fall off the stage we’ll never let you live it down!”

He rolled his eyes as he opened the door leading to the stage, breathing in deeply before making his way up the stairs. Wonho made sure to quickly bow to the audience as to not be rude and quickly moved to grab his guitar, feeling the familiarity of it calm his nerves a fraction.

“My partner doesn’t like talking much, but he created this beautiful song all by himself and I’m sure you’ll end up loving it as much as I do.” Wonho smiled into his borrowed mask as he made sure his guitar was tuned perfectly before giving Hyungwon - who was already staring at him intently - a thumbs up. Hyungwon nodded and returned to face the microphone, cooing “This song is called ‘From Zero.’”

Wonho felt his fingers automatically run over the guitar’s strings in familiar patterns, staring at them as if sparks would come out from the excitement that surged through him.

He had never admitted it to anyone, barely even to himself if he was honest, that looking up at the crowd scared him. He could create music for artists all day long and that was indeed his dream, but performing his song in front of a crowd _himself_ was a different story. Wonho knew he needed to look up at them soon. He didn’t want his secret fear to reflect poorly on his brothers’ reputation.

He exhaled a calming breath, just like he had reminded himself to do so many times before and took his wary gaze up. His clammy hands and half open throat almost caused him to make a mistake. He kept breathing meditatively as much as he could, until familiar colors floated across his vision. Wonho felt his throat close completely.

Then, in his next second of attempted breathing, he felt his throat open all the way up, as if he had never had the partial anxiety attack in the first place.

It didn’t take long.

He knew without a doubt that of course, it was Haru.

There she was, standing there in the middle of the crowd with her vibrant colored hair swirling around his vision.

She looked caught off guard, almost.

Could it be that she recognized him, too?

He sensed a ghost of a smile on his lips as she looked around at the crowd, perplexed for some odd reason he couldn’t decipher. It was absolutely amusing to him. So, naturally, he broke out into a genuine smile. She had finished her search by then, eyes seemingly fixated on him now and he could feel it. Feel how the smile spread all the way to his eyes, transforming his face.

_“If we can’t turn things back  
I want to start from today”_

Although he was vaguely aware of the guy hovering around Haru’s shoulders like a hawk, in that moment he could have cared less.

_“If I can’t turn it back  
I want to start over now”_

His fingers played a bit more fluidly now, happily strumming out the tune to accompany Hyungwon’s evocative mellow tone.

_“Let’s write our story from zero”_

Wonho had no clue that right that second, he just had.

\----------

“I can’t believe you guys just fucking ran off like that while on the clock!” Jimin scolded them both as he cleaned off an empty space of the bar counter with a scowl and a pout.

“Was it really _that bad_ in the five minutes that we were gone?” Yoongi drawled, having none of it.

Haru delightedly watched as Jimin stuttered in response. “I- W-Well No...” Yoongi smirked in Haru’s direction as he crossed his arms, ready to fire off yet another question at the poor innocent boy. “How many customers did you handle _by yourself_ in those five minutes, Jimin?”

Jimin came to a full stop from wiping down the near-empty bar now, Haru observing how he worked his jaw in annoyance. After all, he knew Yoongi always got his way and that he was nearly, if not always, right. “Two...”

“Two?!” Haru yelped. Yoongi stretched his smirk into a self-satisfied smile. “So, you’re telling me _two_ customers were too much for you to handle?” He cackled out, Haru turning to face the stage once more to hide her struggling face that was about to burst into laughter. Holding it in proved more difficult than she had thought.

Before Jimin could respond to Yoongi and Haru’s outburst of giggles, a shadow loomed over her figure that was now leaning on the bar counter head first. She felt Yoongi and Jimin come over to where she and the mysterious figure were, Haru too comfortable to even think of looking up. Being around all that body heat from the crowd made the cold counter so soothing.

“How can we help you?” Yoongi’s voice vibrated next to her, a tinge of what seemed like confusion in his tone. Haru thought as to why that would be, after all, it had to be a customer, right?

“Yeah, I uh… seem to have borrowed these?”

Haru knew precisely who that voice belonged to.

_Hesitant, yet soft and pleasant._

_Dim calming lights in the form of a voice._

_That was what it was, what it felt like when she heard it._

She dragged her surprised face across the counter to look up at who had been talking and felt her eyes blow wide at the fact that she had been right.

“Yeah, sorry about that. My friend over here is such a diva when he performs.” A new voice she hadn’t heard before whispered and she jolted up from the counter, making eye contact with the stranger in the process. She squinted her eyes in recognition, knowing he looked familiar when it clicked. He was the bass player for Monsta X and of course, Wonho’s friend. She looked back and forth between the both of them and then glanced at her two boys, seemingly still very confused about the situation. “I-” Wonho laughed exasperatedly, “I’m not a diva, alright. You just have crazy fangirls and I don’t want to deal with them.” Haru observed how they were whispering as they talked, their hoods looming over their heads as if to hide their faces.

“Yeah, true,” Wonho’s friend replied as he leaned on the counter with his elbows, hoodie now casting half his face in shadow. “So, you better return these nice people their things before people recognize me.” Haru watched as Wonho gulped, his adam's apple bobbing up and down. Was he nervous?

Then, she remembered something she rarely ever forgot about: she could see his emotions. How did that barely cross her mind? Haru looked down at his hands, which were indeed the amber hue she often recognized on her own. Except without the pretty gold flecks.

But wait…

“Isn’t that my beanie?” Haru zeroed in on the object in Wonho’s milky white hand, recognizing the band logo that read ‘The Adicts’ written across the folded front. “That’s… That’s definitely my beanie,” she continued in awe. “How-” She wanted to question, but was promptly interrupted. “You’re telling me this is the girl whose beanie you made a stank face at?!”

Haru’s eyes, if possible, grew wider as she shot her head up and over to look at Wonho, whose expression seemed to match hers completely. “I- No, no!” Wonho raised his hands in defense, quickly taking his gaze over to his friend, “Minhyuk, what the fuck?!”

“I mean, she’s such a pretty lady to be insulting like that Wonho!” He cackled as Wonho attempted to grab him from where he stood, no doubt to strangle him from rage.

“It’s okay, this pretty lady washes her beanies and clothes regularly,” Haru began, sending a smile Minhyuk’s way. “I can’t say the same for him though,” She smugly stared at Wonho, looking at him in playful disgust. She observed how Wonho’s gold flecks begin to dance around his hands at this. “He’s such a monster, right?” Minhyuk said enthusiastically as he leaned over the counter with sweater paws and wide eyes aimed toward Haru. Her heart nearly bursted at such an adorable sight and could indeed understand why he and Monsta X were so popular. “I’m Minhyuk. Nice to meet you, pretty lady,” He said as he held out one of his sweater pawed hands. Haru took it with a genuine smile, feeling a slight blush creep up her cheeks as she said, “I’m Haru. It’s nice to meet such a gentleman.”

“Alright, alright, break it up you two,” Yoongi separated their hands and huffed out an exasperated sigh of his own. Jimin was still staring at the whole interaction with furrowed brows. “Here you go Haru,” Wonho said gloomily, holding out her beanie with care she never thought possible. “I’m sorry I bothered you all so much today. We’ll be leaving then.” He slightly bowed and grabbed Minhyuk by the back of his sweater, dragging his reluctant self away from the bar.

“That was weird. Did you know them, Haru?” Jimin asked and she felt a slight panic crawl up her spine as Yoongi looked at her suspiciously. “Uhm, well, a tiny bit? I’ve seen and talked to the blonde guy a few times, but that’s it. I just knew that the other guy was from Monsta X, but I didn’t know his name or anything,” She blabbered on. “Right…” Yoongi replied as he squinted sharply at her. “Well, next time, tell diva boy to bring his own shit. I don’t want some stranger borrowing your things.”

Haru knew Yoongi was just trying to protect her, but there was really no need. “I promise you, Wonho is harmless,” She defended, surprised she felt the need to. She walked up to him and punched him softly on the arm, then stalked off to the break room where her locker was.

She still had a long night of cleaning ahead of her.

\----------

All of them had really left her to deal with closing the place on her own; the gang laughing at Haru’s ticked off face as they ran out the door before she could throw the bottle of beer she had just picked up from the ground at them. She supposed it was better than them staying and nitpicking her every move though.

After picking up what seemed like mountains of trash and wondering why people were so filthy when they had multiple trashcans around the place, Haru gawked at the amount of trash bags she had piled up in disbelief. “How can so much trash fit in such a small venue?!” She yelled, the words echoing off the empty walls. She took in a deep breath for composure and began hauling them outside to where the huge dumpster was at the back of D&W.

The trash bags weren’t that light, so it would take her more time as she eventually got tired. By her fifth trip she started to break a sweat and by her seventh, she was full on dripping buckets. Why couldn’t she be like those girls who never broke a sweat no matter how much they did?

She stopped at the side of the dumpster just as sweat dripped into her eyes. They swiftly began to burn all too familiarly. “Ah, fuck!” She cursed aloud, immediately rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands. She had also conveniently forgotten about the fact that she was wearing contacts, as she often did when she wore them. “Oh, god damnit,” She said louder this time, stomping her foot in frustration. She took her hands away from her face and tried to blink the contacts back into place, but they seemed to be too dry to want to cooperate.

That was when she heard it.

She hadn’t even noticed it at the time, the smell of cigarette now filling up her nose and lungs. She scrunched her nose at the smell, which made the noise grow an octave higher.

A laugh.

A _very_ unique and wondrous laugh.

“W-Wonho?”

She felt crazy in that moment, feeling like she could recognize everything about him now. They had met only a few times and just like that, she knew all these things about him?

It unsettled her down to her core and she began to feel a bit of anxiety, regripping the trash bags more tightly now.

“Hoseok, you mean?”

She blinked more rapidly now, desperately wanting to know if she was just hearing things and that maybe, there really was no one around.

Her contacts finally began to slowly move into place and as she focused her eyes with a squint, there was no doubting it.

He mumbled out something incomprehensible, the weather cold enough for her to see smoke coming from his mouth that wasn’t from the cigarette. She was certain, for it was now dangling lightly from his index and middle finger, his hand lazily at his side. The smoke that emanated from the cigarette mixed with his gold color and flecks and the fascination that she often felt when she looked at his hands spilled out into a curious scowl on her face.

For the first time in her life, she had never wanted to get lost in something so badly.

For the first time, she wished she could get lost in his divine gold.

She stood there and stared as the gold ever so slowly went up Wonho’s forearm and turned amber. Haru continued to trail up his arm with her eyes, his pale complexion coming into view now as she made her way up his neck; and as she finally met his eyes, she could feel a tightening in her chest that had never been there before as he stared right back at her.

And into Haru’s right ear, Amy Lee’s powerfully moving voice sang:

_“I want to stay in love with my sorrow_

_Oh,_

_but God,_

_I want to let it go”_


	7. Search and Destroy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bunch of tomfoolery.

“I’m going out for a smoke,” Wonho announced grumpily to everyone packing up in the green room, trudging his feet across the floor. “A smoke? Jesus, was today really that bad?” Kihyun popped his head up from his backpack, where he was shoving in a plastic bag full of sweaty clothes.

“If it wasn’t for that constant headache over there,” Wonho said, pointing swiftly in Minhyuk’s direction, only to hear a noise of offended objection, “Then it would have been fine.”

He rolled his eyes and crossed the threshold of the door leading to the parking lot, when of course, he heard Kihyun yell, “Hurry up or we’re leaving without you!”

\----------

As he settled himself against the wall, cigarette burning between his fingers, he thought back to what had happened earlier that night.

Seeing Haru again had caught him so off guard he could hardly think straight and Minhyuk had made the situation far worse with his usual antics.

Although, what truly afflicted him more than anything was why they kept bumping into each other. It was inevitable to think that the circumstances were just mere coincidences anymore. Or maybe, it was just him who was reading too much into it?

Yeah, it was probably just his lack of sleep driving him to think such odd things.

Lost in his own thoughts, he hadn’t been aware that someone else had arrived at the back of the venue. He glanced lazily to the side at the commotion that now filled his ears, wondering who had accompanied him in the dark.

It was none other than Haru, rubbing at her eyes furiously. She stomped her foot in what seemed like frustration, profanities coming out of her mouth so effortlessly he couldn’t help but laugh. It was as he had said before. Those expletives flowed out of her mouth like poetry. The memory made him laugh even more.

“W-Wonho?”

The hand by his side twitched at the sound of his nickname coming from her. Wonho wondered why it bothered him so much to hear her call him by it, but it just didn’t sit right with him when she said it. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the restless feeling inside his chest to subside.

“Hoseok, you mean?” He said aloud, opening his eyes and lifting himself off the wall.

She stared at him in what he could only decipher as surprised confusion, but he wasn’t the least bit surprised at this point. There was a sort of peace that washed over him at the fact that Haru kept showing up in his life at random moments, almost as if fate wouldn’t have them leave each other alone.

“Fate?” Wonho breathed out dubiously.

An absurd theory, to say the least.

He shook his head, attempting to clear his mind. He just really needed some god damn sleep, because his imagination was starting to run wild.

There she was though, a few feet away from him, blatantly staring at his hand again without saying a word. Not at his face. _His hand_.

What was it about his hands?

He took his gaze up from his cigarette, now observing how she slowly trailed up his arm with her eyes, as if she were watching something climb up it. But then, she kept going, at such a painfully slow pace that made him wonder if there was something he was missing. It made him nervous, having someone stare at him so meticulously like that. When she finally met his eyes, he stared straight back without an ounce of emotion. In her eyes, though, he could see how much of an open book she really was.

It was astonishing.

The pain in them were evident.

He supposed he had always noticed it. He also supposed he had ignored how much it bugged him, too. Was she aware that it was just there for everyone to see?

He let the cigarette fall from his hand, putting it out with the heel of his boot.

“What are you doing all the way over here?” He heard her ask as he picked up the remnants and made his way over to her.

“Well, if it wasn’t obvious,” He dripped with sarcasm, “I was smoking,” Wonho smirked as he stood in front of her with his palm open. “Do you know where I can cool this off, so I can throw it away?” He asked innocently.

“Uhm, sure?” Haru replied, “Let me just throw these away really quick.” She began to lift the two trash bags he had seen in her hands before and offered to help her, but she shot him down just as swiftly. He stayed back and watched in amusement as she struggled to lift the heavy bags. He also tried to keep down a few giggles when she let go of the lid too soon, barely escaping with all her fingers intact.

“You should ask someone else to do the trash before you end up without any fingers,” He said as he followed her into the small hallway that led into the venue. She sighed, and he raised an eyebrow at the reaction. “I’m doing just fine, _Wonho_ , thank you. Plus, everyone left me to clean up the place by myself.”

He felt his hand subtly twitch again.

The huge pile of trash bags that she had yet to take came into full view now. He took his gaze to the side, where she was sitting on a bar stool staring off into space, evidently exhausted. He could just tell something was eating at her. Wonho chewed on his lip in thought, a bit miffed that they would leave her to do all the cleaning by herself.

“Do you think I could help?” He offered again. He did have his lyric deadline tomorrow, but it didn’t feel right to just leave. “Oh, you really don’t have to. I can do it by myself,” She nodded along to her reply, pushing strands of hair behind her ear. “I know you can,” He said with a tiny grin, “But I’d love to help. I know how it is to close by yourself and it really sucks.”

He moved to lean on the bar counter, his palm supporting his face that tilted off to the left, his cheek effectively squished. “What do you say?”

“Oh my god, does that actually work on people?” She asked incredulously. “Does what work on people?” He asked, honestly not understanding the question. “That,” She pointed to his hand that was still supporting his head up with mirth. “Why? What’s wrong with my hand?” He took his hand away to observe it, brows coming together this time.

Was that it? Was something wrong with his hands? Was that why Haru stared at them? Sure, they were veiny and a bit callused from working out, but otherwise, they seemed like normal hands for a guy.

“I don’t see anything wrong with it,” He said, looking at her as if she was losing it.

“Jesus, Wonho.” She exploded into the melodic laughter that had engrained itself in his memory without his permission. It was immediate, the tightness that formed inside of his chest. The reaction was something he had only felt once before, but no, he didn’t think of Haru that way. Without a doubt, she was a gorgeous girl, but he just couldn’t. _Not again_.

“Don’t tell me you act cute without actually knowing you’re being cute. Because that’s bullshit,” She retorted as she slipped off the stool to grab more trash bags. “Act cute?” He scoffed, “Why would I need to act? I am cute.” He grabbed a few trash bags himself and turned back towards the hall. “My mom even says so!” He announced proudly, giggling as he made his way down the hall.

Being around Haru was easy; comfortable. And that’s how he wanted to keep things.

It was all he could handle.

\----------

“God, I’ll never upset Yoongi on my night shift ever _again_ ,” Haru said sulkily, wiping down the bar counter for the last time.

“Yoongi? Is he your boss?” Wonho asked curiously as he dried the rest of the glasses Haru had washed.

Haru flinched at the memory of who her boss was but knew she needed to reply. “Oh no,” She sighed, “Yoongi is one of my best friends and in charge of the venue while my actual boss is away,” Haru finished.

“Was it the guy that was with you in the crowd tonight?” Wonho raised an eyebrow, “You guys did seem close.” Haru took her gaze in his direction, only to see a pleasant small smile on his face. Haru felt so comfortable around him when she wasn’t trying to fight with the fact that she could see his emotions in the form of colors.

“Ah… You saw us?” Haru questioned, but knew that of course, he had. It was nice to confirm that she wasn’t completely insane, though. “Yeah, that was him. He’s one out of seven that I’m really close with. All eight of us run this crazy joint.” She couldn’t help the warmth that spread through her at the thought of them, a grin definitely plastered on her face now. “They’re basically my brothers. Well, no, they _are_ my brothers… My family.” It was strange, talking about her boys to someone else that wasn’t her parents.

“Seven?!” Wonho exclaimed, nearly dropping the glass he was drying back into the sink. “That’s really…. Cool. You talk about them in such a loving way.” He paused for a brief second before going on. “But, I think I can relate,” He smiled down at the glass in his hand before putting it into its rightful place. “Oh?” She simply responded, waiting for him to go on.

“Besides the guys in Monsta X, there are two others. All together it’s seven of us. We’ve been close for a really long time and I’d honestly do anything for them, you know?” He looked at her then and she understood his feelings completely. She would do anything for her boys, too. Absolutely anything. “Like you said, they’re family.”

“That’s amazing,” Haru exhaled, the reply barely audible. It felt like such a lackluster answer, but their similarities had left her nearly speechless.

They ended up cleaning the rest of the venue in pleasant silence. Haru took the opportunity to take a few quick glances at Wonho now and then, observing how his gold flecks danced around his hands in contentment.

“Thank you so much for helping me out, I don’t know how I could ever repay you, to be honest.” Haru was now leaning against the green room door that led to the parking lot, letting a light breeze in as Wonho gathered his things. “Don’t worry about it,” He emitted a small laugh, “Think of it as a thank you for letting me borrow your stuff for the performance.” He swung his backpack onto his shoulder, a slight blush on his cheeks to match the color on his hands. His shade of embarrassment was a much lighter and prettier pink than hers, and it made her kind of jealous. Although, she found it interesting how the gold flecks never changed colors, no matter how much his mood fluctuated.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.” She followed him out of the door and into the night, taking in the sky that was a stunning shade of navy blue. “How did you even get my beanie in the first place? Did you break into my locker?” Haru side-eyed him as she continued to tilt her head upwards. “No, I- I swear I didn’t. I didn’t even know it was yours. Kihyun just gave it to me and told me to put it on,” He explained, taking his gaze from her face to the sky.

“I wonder who I’m going to have to kill the next time I come in for work. Six of them are up for grabs,” She laughed.

“Six? Not seven?” Wonho inquired.

Haru couldn’t stop the fall of her smile.

She scratched the side of her face, a nervous habit she could never really get rid of. “One of them is out of the country. So, six,” She answered simply, watching her hands turn from the light green they had been to a deep purple. “Oh,” Wonho replied with a nod. She guessed he had sensed the change in atmosphere at his question.

Looking past her hands, she realized that they had long since reached the sidewalk and were walking aimlessly now.

“Do you have a ride?” Haru changed the subject, becoming aware that she needed to get home and feed Butter. Wonho stayed quiet and said nothing, the seconds becoming minutes of silence. “I would drive you home, but I don’t have a car. I usually walk home…” She trailed off, suddenly nervous for no reason at all. She stuffed her hands into her hoodie pocket, the color on her hands now a gray.

Worried was an understatement. Did she say something wrong? Did he feel like she was rushing him to leave? Maybe she should have just said her goodbyes and started walking home. She always did have a talent for making things painfully awkward.

“Do you mind if I walk you home?”

Wait… _what?_

\----------

Her reaction was to be expected.

What he had said was not.

He closed his eyes tightly, damning himself for opening his big mouth. He needed to learn to think things through for once and _not_ act on impulse. Especially when it came to Haru.

“I, well… I usually walk home by myself.”

Wonho bit the inside of his lip as he opened his eyes, staring down at a timid Haru he had never quite seen before. He nodded, ready to bid her farewell when she spoke again.

“But, sure?”

It came out as more of a question than an answer, and for a moment his brain couldn’t quite process what she’d said.

“My apartment is this way,” She pointed to their right with a timid finger, mostly covered by her sweater. “Oh. Okay,” He stood, utterly dumbfounded.

What would she think of his intentions? Wonho didn’t know much about them himself.

They were a blurry, foggy mess in his head to begin with.

But friends could walk each other home, right?

_They were friends… right!?_

\----------

“What did you think of him, Butter?”

She leaned against the giant window in her room, Butter now laying back down comfortably on his cat tree. It was high enough for him to see the outside world and be entertained by the birds that constantly flew by.

It was a peculiar feeling, having someone that wasn’t Jungkook walk her home. She didn’t hate it, though. The walk home was surprisingly fun and when she had pointed her apartment out to Wonho from the sidewalk, he had enthusiastically exclaimed, “You have a cat?!”

And there Butter had been, perched on the highest tier of his cat tree, staring down at both of them in curiosity.

“He’s pretty alright, isn’t he?” She continued, to which Butter mewed in response.

As she stared down at the city lights, in the faint reflection of her window was a color she had only seen once before upon her hands.

_The color gold_.

\----------

Photoshop class didn’t captivate her attention like she thought it would, for the sole fact that she had learned most of what was being taught in high school.

So there Haru was, left to stare at the color on her hands, which was way more interesting than her monotone professor that droned on about CMYK.

A flashback from last week suddenly came to her. How the pretty gold had swirled around her hands for what seemed like only a few fleeting seconds. The color had yet to appear on her hands again and she had tried to recall what she could have possibly been feeling to have that color appear in the first place.

Was it a coincidence she had seen Wonho on both days that it had happened? But her gold was far lighter than his, verging on vibrant yellow.

“I want you in partners for this next assignment. Don’t care who it is, just get it done, alright?”

Oh, beautiful. Right when she wasn’t paying the least bit of attention.

She watched as everyone around her dispersed and rearranged themselves into partners. She hadn’t been to class last week and as she scanned the class for the first time in detail, she was sure she knew none of the people in it.

“Well, shit,” She groaned. There had to be at least one extra person. They’d be stuck with her unwillingly, but she didn’t care. Haru just wanted to get her assignment done.

Her eyes fell on a small crowd of girls and she tilted her head as if that would give her a better view of what they were all screeching about. Alas, it did not, and she fell back into her seat, resigning herself to waiting it out. She wasn’t about to ask someone to be her partner. Although, maybe she could ask the teacher if she could complete the assignment by herself…

Haru searched for the teacher but found he wasn’t at his desk, or anywhere for that matter. No wonder the girls were screeching so loud. She honestly felt like her ears were on the verge of bleeding. A swell of disappointment was heard and Haru instinctively turned in the direction of the noise, a guy now standing in between the mix of girls. He was shaking his head with a polite smile at one of them when their eyes met, a brief second in which his eyes widened into saucers.

The next thing Haru knew, he was at her empty table in the back of the class, seemingly out of breath. “Please, please, please be my partner!” He whisper-yelled, his eyes begging with urgency. She didn’t feel like she could respond to him well enough from the suddenness of it all and just nodded her head to accept the offer instead. “Oh my god, thank you! You’re a life saver!”

The line struck a nerve, a memory of her saying that same thing to Yoongi floating across her mind. Her smiling was interrupted by the guy leaning over and whispering, “I’m sorry for what might happen to you though.”

“Happen to me?” She blinked at him in confusion, wondering what he could possibly mean by that. Then she realized who was actually sitting next to her. He had changed his hair and that made him nearly unrecognizable to her, but his voice gave him away. My, what an undercut and a change of hair color could do.

“You’re that guy from Monsta X…” She mumbled, her mouth still open in awe. “You really had no clue who I was?” He smiled gleefully. Was he happy that she hadn’t recognized him? “Not really. You changed your hair,” Haru pointed to it, his hair perfectly styled up and out of his face. Haru saw yet another reason as to why everyone went crazy over them. They were all overwhelmingly handsome.

“Oh, right, right. I thought my scalp could use a break, so now it’s brown,” He nodded with a wide smile. “Are you a huge fan?” He asked this more hesitantly, his eyes giving him away. “Well, I can’t say that… Although I have seen you guys perform twice and was amazed.”

“But you know who we are. That’s good enough. I’m glad,” he ducked his head in shyness. Gorgeous and adorable. Goodness, these guys were merciless. She suddenly felt bad for their fans.

“I did promise myself to check you guys out, I just haven’t had the time,” She blurted out. Well, that was unnecessary information. “Please do when you can, I hope you enjoy.” He was still smiling down at the sheet of paper that had the steps of the assignment written on it as if it would eventually smile back.

“I’m Haru, by the way,” She held out her hand out of sight under the table, knowing full well to keep her distance from him in public if she didn’t want to get assaulted by his fans. “Hi Haru, I’m Kihyun,” He replied, gripping her hand lightly.

“So, Kihyun… Do you know what the assignment’s about? I kind of spaced out…” She confessed sheepishly, wanting to change the subject. Haru imagined being under the watchful eye of his fans at school could be incredibly uncomfortable. She moved to take a look at Kihyun’s hands when it hit her that she _couldn’t_ see everyone’s emotions. She had gotten so used to seeing Wonho’s emotions, her brain was having a tough time understanding that it was just one person and not the rest of the human population.

“Oh, yeah, I got you covered,” He giggled, and Haru knew that she had lucked out. He seemed chill and easy to get along with, unlike the energy he projected on stage.

It was fascinating how people projected themselves to the rest of the world versus how they actually were.

\----------

Haru skipped right past the café part of D&W as the Misfits blasted through the speakers, stopping right in front of the bar where Yoongi and Jin stood, seemingly baffled at her mood.

“Yoongi, do you know where Hobi is?” She asked lightheartedly. Yoongi made a face before throwing his head back, signaling that he was in the break room. “Sweet. If you hear any screaming, don’t worry. It’s just me murdering him,” Haru said swiftly as she was already half way down the hall and at the door, ready to make a grand entrance.

She had put some thought into who could have possibly loaned her beanie out and came to the quick conclusion that only two people had the combinations to all their lockers. Yoongi and Hoseok. They were both left in charge of the respective parts of D&W. With that reasoning, the culprit had been easy to figure out.

She opened the door with more force than necessary and rushed to where Hoseok was seated, enjoying his freshly microwaved ramen with fervor. “Hey, Hoseok,” She said, leaning over to meet eyes with him.

“Hoseok,” He guffawed. “What’s with that?”

“Did you lend someone my beanie before you left last week?” Haru went straight to the point. Hoseok paused, tilting his head to the side with a slight pout. “I might have, can’t really remember because I was so tired.” He resumed eating his noodles as Haru scrutinized him, her hands slowly turning into fists, the color on them a light hue of red. He paused again to look up at her. “Why? Did they not give it back to you?”

Haru waited for the confirmation she wanted to hear and luckily, she didn’t have to wait long. “The guy who asked seemed pretty trustyworth-”

She lunged at him at an alarming speed and the screams began, Haru reprimanding him for daring to touch her things and giving them out to people without her permission and him hollering for her to stop and that he was ‘very, very sorry, but she shouldn’t treat her elders this way.’”

Only a few seconds passed by before Yoongi and Jin were in the room, half breathless from the sudden rush of running and were surprised to find Hoseok in a chokehold, his hair in complete disarray. They seemed to be trying their hardest not to laugh at the male’s current predicament.

“Alright, alright, let go of him Haru. Whatever it is, I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” Yoongi defended, gesturing for them to break apart. Jin walked over and held out a hand for Hoseok, face red from still trying to hold in his laugh. Haru got up with the help of Yoongi, still grumbling about the whole mess. “Now go make peace with the poor guy,” Yoongi said exasperatedly.

Haru stood there with her arms crossed before breathing in and letting her shoulders fall. She loved Hoseok to pieces, she really did, but sometimes the boys did things without having her in mind. They knew she liked her privacy and hated being caught off guard. She didn’t mind sharing her things as long as they asked first.

She took baby steps towards Hoseok who was now fixing his hair with the tiny mirror in his locker, which didn’t take much effort. She really envied his soft and lush hair.

“Sorry Hobi,” Haru said, resting her head on his shoulder. He flinched a bit at the sudden contact but was quick to smile blindingly at her through the mirror and put an arm around her. “I was honestly scared for my life, you little rascal,” He said, pretending to put her in a chokehold himself. Haru was a giggling mess as she tried to get out of it and when she did, gave him a bear hug as a sign of peace.

She clung to him like a koala, refusing to let go of the comfy spot she was in.

Haru was suddenly reminded of when they were younger and they’d all pile into Hobi’s house for a sleepover. They’d have a blast, a bunch of crazy kids running amok while his parents weren’t home. By the end of the day, they were exhausted from playing games and rough housing, so they’d crawl into Hobi’s room to sleep. He always had her sleep on his bed with him, while the rest of the boys slept on the surprisingly comfortable carpet with blankets and spare pillows. Everyone quickly discovered that Haru was shockingly touchy when she slept, always needing to cuddle something. It’s why she had Butter back at the apartment. She didn’t quite know why, but it was the only way she could get a restful sleep.

Hobi never minded the skinship they had developed in their relationship and she was grateful for his ever-understanding heart.

“So, I heard you ended up knowing the guy that borrowed it.” Hobi gave her a stare of suspicion as she let go of him now, knowing an interrogation was coming.

“Who told you that?” She gulped. She swore they were worse than a posse of girls when it came to gossip. “Jimin did. So, who is he?” He asked, shining his pearly whites in her direction. He came up and nudged her with his elbow, willing for her to spill the uninteresting story.

It wasn’t that big of a deal anyway, right? Wonho was Wonho. Just a regular dude she knew, who was kind, good looking, had a beautiful smile and - oh wait - she could see his colors. Can’t forget that bit.

“He’s just a guy I’ve bumped into a few times. Nothing too interesting.” Haru decided that the amber hue on her hands was more interesting than the current conversation. “Do you know his name?” Hobi prodded further.

Haru’s eyes widened at the fact that she had never noticed it before. The fact that they both had the same name.

Well, these were unforeseen circumstances that she could possibly work with.

“Hoseok,” She said, still staring at her hands. “What?” He replied simply, no doubt thinking she was calling his name.

Silence.

“Oh, come on. It’s okay to tell me his name. I won’t tell a soul!” Haru looked up as he pretended to zip up his mouth. This was more amusing than she thought. “I meant that that’s his name. His name’s Hoseok.”

His eyes narrowed in suspicion again, before determining that he’d believe her. “Who’s this bastard who has the same name as me, huh?” He puffed out his chest in seriousness. “Hey, don’t call him a bastard! He’s nice!” Haru defended without realizing.

“Oh?” Hoseok smugly smiled. “Why are you defending him?”

He began to inch closer, ready to tease her some more. She needed to be quick on her feet and make a run for it because honestly, she didn’t have an answer to his question.

“Huh? Oh! Would you look at the time!” Haru glanced at the clock on the wall, “I have to be somewhere. A group project. I’m late!” She dashed through the door without waiting for a reply, but it’s not like it was a total lie.

She had to meet up with Kihyun…...in a few hours.

\----------

“Tch…. that girl. The clock on the wall doesn’t even work,” Hoseok mumbled as he walked out of the break room and to the bar, where Yoongi and Jin were almost done setting up for the night.

“There’s definitely something sketchy going on with Haru,” He muttered to the elder men as he plopped down on a stool.

“What makes you say that?” Yoongi said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

Hoseok chewed on his lip, trying to work out what could be going on. If she was dating someone, dating _that_ Hoseok, she would have told them, right? Then again, he had to be realistic. There was no way she had gotten over Jungkook already. She wasn’t the type to use someone so heartlessly, either.

“Jimin said he didn’t get a good look at the guy. Did you?” He questioned without specifying who he was talking about, but Yoongi was usually good at guessing. “That Wonho guy? Not really his face, but his body was huge, as in built. Looked like he worked out,” Yoongi shrugged, not really understanding what the big deal was. If Haru wanted to be all weird about some guy, he didn’t mind as long as she stopped pining over Jungkook. It was exceedingly hard to watch her be around him these days. He couldn’t begin to imagine what she felt.

“Wonho? Who the hell is Wonho?” Hoseok pouted, “Are you sure we’re talking about the same guy?”

“Pretty damn sure, Hobi,” Yoongi replied, rolling his eyes toward Jin who seemed completely lost. “Then why did she say his name was Hoseok?” He exclaimed, indignant. “Did she lie to me?!” Hoseok put a hand on his chest, feeling as if his own child had just lied to him for the first time.

“I highly doubt it. Maybe he has two names or something?” Jin chimed in.

“Ah, I don’t know!” Hoseok threw his hands up as he slid off the stool.

He would have to stay in the dark and watch whatever happened unfold silently. As much as he was curious and worried, he was hoping that whatever this was would be good for her.

Haru deserved to be happy, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things continue to reveal themselves bit by bit ohohoh.
> 
> thank you for taking the time to comment and read this story!  
> It really motivates me to update faster.
> 
> Also, I had been debating this for a long time, but if you guys would like you could follow me on twitter [@flordemens](https://twitter.com/flordemens) !  
> I'll be informing you guys on there more frequently about when I'll be updating and all that good stuff!


	8. When The Sun Sleeps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, Wonho makes everyone worry?? :}

He could have sworn he had called the day off. As his delirious state would have it, he apparently had not. Wonho had hallucinated it so vividly that it was really a shame, because he truly felt like he was dying. His body ached, and he felt like his fever was going to send him into a new dimension.

“H-Hey Wonho,” The newbie Seungjun timidly grabbed his attention. “I hate to bother you in the state that you’re in,” Seungjun grimaced, which seemed more like a smile with how wide his mouth was. “It’s just that… Eunbi… Is at table five asking for you. I-I tried to tell her I could serve her for today instead since you weren’t feeling well, but she insisted,” He rambled on which in turn made Wonho’s head spin.

“Alright. I’ll take care of it.” Wonho nonchalantly waved him away as he tried his best to get himself together. He needed this tip today. Rent was due soon and it looked like they were barely gonna make it.

Exhaling a deep breath, he made his way over to her as best he could, but the floor was starting to warp under his feet. He stopped midway and shook his head to see if it would help, but that had seemed to only make it worse.

“Hello, what can I get for you today?” He inhaled, trying to keep himself looking perky and awake. It felt like his eyes were giant saucers with the way he was widening them, to the point that they were starting to burn. He didn’t even bother with formalities. “Oh, honey, what’s wrong? You look awful.” Eunbi leaned in and touched his sweaty forehead with her perfectly manicured fingers, and it took everything in his power not to pull away.

“Sorry, I’m not feeling too well. I can get s-someone else if you’d like.” He stared past her at the window, black dots slowly creeping into his vision.

Well, that was odd.

“My poor baby,” She said breathily, continuing to caress his face with newfound selfishness. Wonho was nothing but a piece of meat to her, something she could freely lust over. He knew she didn’t really care about him, but he needed to keep reminding himself that she equaled rent money they _needed_. Before he could ask her what she would like to order again, he felt his vision go black. Kyungil really needed a swift kick in the ass. He couldn’t be doing that to him while he was with a customer. At least, he had thought it was Kyungil, until he felt a sharp pain at his shoulder to go with his throbbing head.

All that remained after were a mix of purple and silver across his vision.

_Always purple and silver._

\----------

It wasn’t hard for Haru or Kihyun to take the pictures they needed for their portrait project. That was all thanks to Kihyun, though.

To Haru’s excitement, Kihyun was an amazing photographer. She couldn’t really say that about herself, but she admired how he had made her look in his photos. The lighting had been just right, the sun casting shadows across her face that had quite frankly taken her breath away. The number of compliments that had ensued were like word vomit, but Haru just couldn’t help it. She was truly grateful to have such a talented person as her partner to learn from.

As Haru snapped the last shot of Kihyun, his phone rang and echoed across the park. Kihyun looked at the screen curiously and signaled that he’d take the call. She moved away a little more to give him some privacy and looked through her shots. She had to admit that with his advice, they had come out stunning. The excitement of how great they turned out surged through her fingers, making them restless.

She unfortunately had to ask Kihyun if she could borrow his camera for the project, since hers had yet to be repaired. And although she had taken her camera to a shop, there hadn’t been anything left for her to get a new lens. So, apart from her spare memory card, he was honestly saving her ass.

Though admittedly, compared to her baby Nikon, Kihyun’s Sony camera felt alien in her hands.

Looking up from the camera’s screen, she glanced around the half-empty park. The same park where she had broken her precious camera. Her thoughts floated back to the incident that had let her get to know Wonho, beyond his glowing gold hands. Breathing in the cool spring air, she closed her eyes and smiled.

It was strange how life ebbed and flowed, ever-changing and stopping for no one.

The feelings she had harbored when she had first seen Wonho to what she felt now were tremendously contrastive. Even if she wasn’t the least bit comfortable being able to see his emotions, he seemed to be a wonderful guy. That alone was a relief. She couldn’t control what she saw, but if she had to pick whose emotions she could see out of the entire population, she would probably pick Wonho all over again.

_What about Jungkook?_

Haru knew it, felt it so much that she didn’t need to see the blue-black swirls swallowing up the yellow-green on her hands.

Never could she bring herself to want to see Jungkook’s emotions. Guaranteed, she would run away from him every chance she got, for fear of seeing the color of his hands at the sight of her. Especially when he got to talking about Mei. She could only guess what color they’d be then…

“H-Hey Haru, all good?” Kihyun asked, an odd tone to his voice. “Oh, yeah,” She replied, ejecting her memory card from his camera. “Okay, cool.” He retrieved his camera from her and stood there frozen, before something seemed to click. “Haru, I really have to go now. A friend of mine is in the hospital,” He said in one breath, his frantic eyes making her stomach sink as he attempted to stuff his camera into his bag without much success.

He was _shaking_.

“Oh, god. I’m sorry, Kihyun. Do you need help with anything?” She gently grabbed the camera from his hands and placed it carefully in the bag for him. “No, I just really have to go,” He exhaled, voice trembling. As much as she wanted to help, they didn’t know each other that well yet. She resigned to asking Kihyun to tell her when he got to the hospital, because driving with how frantic and nervous he looked worried her. He simply nodded, dashing to his car at lightning speed.

All she could do was stare after him and hope that whoever his friend was, that they’d be okay.

\----------

He wasn’t the type to cry and he definitely wasn’t going to start now, although he was damn close. So close, because the rock that they had all depended on had finally crumbled. He should have known it would happen eventually. He worked so hard for them all, tirelessly and endlessly.

All Kihyun knew was that he’d rather take Wonho’s place one hundred times over if it meant that he’d be healthy.

“Where is he?!” He ran over, visibly panic-stricken, to his brothers who had caught his eye as soon as he had entered the emergency room. Minhyuk was puffy and red from crying and the rest were no different, except for Shownu.

No surprise there.

Besides Wonho, Shownu was the pillar that held their household together in every way.

“They said his fever was extremely high, so they’re pumping him with strong drugs to bring it down. They’re concerned because he hasn’t woken up yet,” Shownu looked away from Kihyun and down the hall, no doubt holding back tears of his own.

Kihyun sat down on the chair next to Shownu and stared at his hands. How was that possible? He only had the flu, so there was no reason for him not to wake up.

Had he hit his head too hard when he fainted?

Even if he went through the thousands of reasons why, it wouldn’t fix anything. He wasn’t a doctor. Kihyun rubbed his face and stared at the ceiling. Minhyuk’s sniffling could still be heard, the only one still crying silently. He quickly decided that the emergency room was too claustrophobic, his anxiety kicking in and signaled to Shownu that he’d be right outside.

The fresh air welcomed him, and he took calming breaths, settling himself on the single bench outside of the hospital entrance. He didn’t want to go too far just in case there was more news.

He took out his phone from his jeans, a single text lighting up on his screen. “Oh, shit!” He exclaimed. Dialing the number from said text, he heard a worried voice on the other line quietly stutter a hello. “Haru, I got to the hospital safely!” He shot out rapidly, not bothering with a hello himself. “Oh, thank goodness,” She sighed out in relief. An awkward silence followed. Kihyun didn’t really feel like talking to anyone right now, but she seemed to be genuinely concerned. “Uhm, I- W-Well, you don’t have to answer if I’m being too nosy, but is your friend okay?”

Kihyun pouted at the uncertainty that they were clinging on to. “Wonho? Well, we don’t know at the moment. We knew he was sick, but he ended up fainting at work. They said that he had a high fever so they’re giving him strong drugs to bring it down. Other than that, he hasn’t woken up yet.” Kihyun fiddled with the hole in his jeans, the frayed ends becoming unexpectedly entertaining.

“W-Wait. Did you say Wonho?” Haru’s voice seemed to shake, which made Kihyun’s brows pull together in confusion. He hadn’t even realized he had said Wonho’s name, only thought it, but he didn’t think it really mattered. Unless, Haru knew who Wonho was? They all went to the same university, after all. “Yeah. Do you know him, by any chance?” There was another moment of silence before she replied. “O-Oh. Kind of… I mean,” Going silent yet again before Kihyun heard a tremulous exhale through the speaker. “Yeah I do.”

“Really?” Kihyun sat up, utterly amazed. “How?”

\----------

Haru sat at the edge of her bed, gripping the sheets tight with her left hand. She didn’t know what to tell him or how to really recover from the information she had just been given. Kihyun was one of Wonho’s brothers and Wonho was sick and unconscious in a damn hospital.

She didn’t know what to feel.

Time almost seemed to slow down for her and an all too familiar numbness crept up her body. Suddenly, Haru felt Butter cuddling up to her arm and snapped out of it.

“Well, um, he returned a camera lens to me that I had left at the park. I think he talked about you, too," She bitterly laughed, "It all makes sense now.”

“Me? Why would he have talked to you about me?” Kihyun asked with wonder and Haru cracked a smile at the memory. “Because he told me he had heard from his good friend how expensive lenses could be, so he brought mine to me.” Haru choked out a giggle, feeling tears welling up as the conversation continued. “He worked incredibly hard to get it back to me that day. I’ll always be grateful for that.”

“Sounds just like him,” Kihyun huffed out a small laugh of his own.

Haru let the awkward silence hang between them for a few seconds but felt like she should fill it in somehow.

“I hope he gets better soon.”

Silence.

And then there was the sound of shuffling and… was he running?

“… Can see him now.”

It wasn’t Kihyun’s voice that was resounding through the speaker. Haru couldn’t decide whether to hang up or stay on the line.

“Uh... Kihyun?”

Nothing.

Looking at the screen of her phone, it showed that the call was still connected. Had something happened or did he just forget to hang up? She figured she’d just text him later to see how Wonho was doing. As she reached for the red button that would hang up the call, she heard sound coming from the speaker again. Haru jumped up and scrambled to put the phone to her ear again. “H-Hello?!”

“Yeah, Haru?!” Kihyun sounded winded, as if he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs no matter how hard he tried. “That was the doctor just now, sorry. We can go in to see him now, but he still hasn’t woken up yet. He said it’s not a good sign.”

Haru felt the room in front of her spin, and as much as she tried to focus on Butter sleeping next to her fisted hand, the thought of Wonho not waking up made her feel… empty. Lonely. Like she would no longer have a place in this world again.

“Do you think I could go visit him, Kihyun? Would that be okay?” Her brain had no time for rationality. It was as if her body was on autopilot and she was just there to observe what was happening. “Of course. Visiting ends in two hours, but you could always come tomorrow.” The tone was meant to come off as kind and unaffected, but she had caught the sadness in his voice, the uncertainty of everything laid out in that last word.

“I’ll be there soon.”

Without a hint of hesitation, Haru hung up, changed into whatever she could find on her floor and ran out of the door; finding that the air in her lungs felt like ice.

In a sense, everything inside of her had felt that way before he came along.

Could it be that Wonho had planted something in the center of her icy atmosphere, leaving nothing but beauty and warmth in his wake?

_A golden, glistening flower amongst a world full of thorns._

\----------

Haru burst through the automatic doors so fast she nearly crashed into the front desk of the emergency room. Catching her breath, she attempted to squeak out Wonho’s real name. The nurse at the desk got up from her seat with concern etched all over her face. Haru held up her hands to signal that she was fine and that she didn’t need help. “Shi-”

“Haru!” She heard Kihyun’s voice shout. She turned around and searched for him, only to find him walking up to her sheepishly, hands in his pockets. “Sorry for the disturbance,” He told the nurse as he arrived and Haru quickly bowed in apology. She felt awful for making such a scene, but she just wasn’t in her right mind.

Kihyun hovered his hand at the small of her back and began leading her to a corner where a bunch of guys were seated, most of them with curious puffy eyes. “Sorry, Kihyun. That must have been embarrassing for you.” She walked next to him noiselessly, trying to shrink into herself as much as possible.

“Don’t worry about it. If anything, it’s good to know that there’s someone else who cares about him just as much as we do.” Haru felt her heart jump into her throat and it took all her strength not to visibly choke. Is that what it looked like to him? Was what she felt for him really to such an extent?

“Any change in how he’s doing?” She inquired. Kihyun bit his lip and tilted his head, “Something about his brain waves improving or something? I didn’t really understand anything the doctor said, to be honest.” Looking up at him, she could see how worried and drained he was.

“He’ll be okay,” Haru affirmed as they arrived. Her eyes swept across each of the five faces that were seated, recognizing most of them except for two. “Guys, this is my classmate and Wonho's friend, Haru," Kihyun introduced.

The first one she recognized was Wonho’s duet partner. Hyungwon, was it?

“Hi,” Hyungwon timidly waved from his seat.

"Ah! It's the pretty lady from the venue!" The adorable boy, whose name she vaguely remembered as Minhyuk, pointed at her frantically, his nose clearly stuffed up from all the crying. Her heart clenched at the sight of his face. It seemed like he was taking it the hardest.

"That would be me," Haru giggled, feeling an embarrassing blush creep up her cheeks from the compliment. Although she hardly thought that about herself, she didn't have the heart to shoot down Minhyuk's compliment in their current situation.

"Hey, how long have the both of you been hiding such a beauty from us?!" A boy with deep brown hair styled similarly to Kihyun's stood up and grabbed Kihyun by the neck, nearly putting him in a chokehold. Haru couldn't help but smile at the sight. It reminded her so much of how her own boys were with each other. It was always heartwarming to see.

"I don't really know about that," Haru interrupted. "Kihyun and I barely met. I've known Wonho longer, but not by much."

"Well, if that's true, then why are you even here? I doubt you guys are that close if he hasn't mentioned you to us."

"Shownu, what’s wrong with you?!" Kihyun said in astonishment as his other brother released him from his grip.

This Shownu guy was similar in build to Wonho, muscular and tanned, full lips with short black hair. One could assume he would be intimidating, but Haru didn't get that vibe from him. She was sure that if anything, he was just trying to look out for his good friend. Hell, Haru would act the same way about her boys, too. She understood and respected where he was coming from.

"You're right, I can't really say that I'm a close friend of Wonho's or anything like that, but I came here because I'm worried about him." She looked him dead in the eyes and didn't dare look away for even a second. She wanted her sincerity to reach him. "Even in the brief time that I've known him, he's become someone special to me."

_No… Wait. That came out wrong?!_

"Oh?" Kihyun squeaked, his voice rising an octave. Haru took a glance in his direction and saw a smug smirk in her peripheral vision.

"I mean, he seems like a wonderful guy and we get along well. He’s helped me out a lot. That's all," She attempted to save, but looking around at all of them, none really seemed convinced. Haru internally cringed at what they could possibly be thinking of.

It wasn't like she could tell them he'd become special to her in the first place because she could see his emotions. That he sometimes made her forget she even had such bizarre vision in the first place. That he was slowly making her feel like it wasn’t such a terrible thing to see emotions.

No, she couldn’t tell them any of it. They'd drag her right down to the mental ward.

“Anyway, don’t mind this big guy.” The boy who was fake strangling Kihyun moved into her field of vision, the cutest smile accompanied by the deepest dimples she had ever seen nearly making her see stars. “The names Jooheon! Nice to meet you, Haru.”

Haru felt a wide smile come upon her in reply, “Nice to meet you too, Jooheon.” He glanced over his shoulder and seemed to signal something to the other boy she hadn’t been introduced to yet. The said boy only shook his head in response, a strong refusal from the likes of it. Jooheon sighed. “And that over there is Changkyun.” She tried to keep an unintimidating face, softening her features as much as he could as he simply waved at her from behind Minhyuk. “He’s a bit shy, don’t mind him either.”

“All right then!” Kihyun intervened, “Did you want to go see Wonho now? There’s only an hour or so left for visiting hours.” Haru nodded. Just thinking about seeing him made her insides twist and churn.

“Hey, wait, we were just getting to know her!” Jooheon exclaimed.

“She’s here to see Wonho, not you, idiot!” Kihyun snapped. The rest of the boys broke out into laughter as soon as Kihyun and Haru left. Haru had to admit that Wonho’s brothers were equally amusing to be around as her own boys.

Kihyun led her down a few hallways until they ended up at room 1364. The door alone seemed menacing. The dull, faded wood brought back flashes of memories that made her ball her hands into fists just to keep them at bay. “Take your time. I’ll come get you when visiting hours are over.” Kihyun rubbed her back in encouragement before heading back to the emergency waiting room.

Entering the room as quietly as she could, Haru felt a ball in her throat that she couldn’t quite swallow down. Hospitals were a place she never wanted to return to. Palms sweaty and breathing uneven, she looked around the cold and sterile room. The blinds were closed with a single light on, leaving the room dim and ominous. A shiver went up her spine as she stepped forward. The curtain was pulled around Wonho’s bed, so she couldn’t see him yet. That was good. She needed to prepare herself.

There was a tv high up on the wall to the right of her, and below it was a chart with Wonho’s information.

Making her way to it, she could make out that he had experienced a high fever of 105 and that they had now controlled it. Unconsciously, her hands tightened, to the point that she felt her nails digging into her palms. Maybe it was better if she didn’t read the rest.

_“You’re selfish, you know that, Haru? You’re a selfish coward.”_

She tried her best to exhale a calming breath and made her way over to the curtain. Observing the pattern on the curtain to calm her unending nerves didn’t seem to work. It brought back memories of a time that she deeply regretted.

“Just look at him Haru, it’s not that hard.”

She moved around the curtain and focused on the chair beside his bed, his silhouette coming into view in her peripheral. “Three, two,” Haru counted down silently. “One.”

Wonho laid there, the blue strands of his hair a stark contrast to the dull color of his blankets and the machinery that surrounded him. She stepped up to him to get a better look, a pink flush to his cheeks that made her want to smile. She had always known in the back of her mind, that of course, he was handsome. That was hardly his shining point, though.

The tears that suddenly welled up were such a surprise, Wonho blurring right before her. “Ah, god damnit.” Haru roughly wiped at her eyes, bits of mascara coming off on her palm as she attempted to control the waterworks. “You don’t know this about me yet, but I’m sort of a crybaby,” She half giggled, then wondered what she was even doing. It’s not like he could hear her.

“I’m sure you know this already, but you have six guys out there waiting for you to get better. They really love you. So, you’d better wake up or I’m sure they’ll all fight you for making them worry so much.”

Would it reach him? Everyone’s sincere thoughts, the enormous amount of love everyone had for him, would it all reach him and bring him back?

“Wake up, Wonho.”

Biting her lip as she lowered down onto the chair next to the bed, she found herself staring at his left hand.

Right. Once again, she had forgotten.

The gold flecks were dancing lazily around his pale hand, nearly covered behind a mist of an odd muddy indigo. A color she had not seen before, yet again. It was as if the gray was trying to seep through, but the indigo was fighting to stay; almost challenging it, daring it to try and get rid of it. Completely enthralled by the sight, Haru reached her own hand forward and entered the mist, placing her hand on top of his. The muddy color swallowed her hand into the unknown, all she could feel was the warmth of Wonho's hand.

Not knowing what on earth was possessing her, she trailed his hand until she could find a comfortable way to grip it lightly. She could ever so faintly feel the thrumming of his heartbeat through his fingers. Truth be told, she had never held anyone's hand that wasn't one of her boys. They hardly counted though, and the few times Jungkook had tried she had vehemently refused. If it wasn't for group things and just the two of them, she didn't trust herself in the slightest.

_Stop._

Why did everything always relate back to him somehow?

She laid her head down on the bed and pouted at the sight of the mist swirling amongst their hands. Haru was sure that under all that fog, the deep violet that she had so artfully named 'Kookie's color' would be on full display.

"Speak of the devil," She muttered bitterly as the purple inched its way down her wrist. Would there ever be any type of escape from him, with how hopelessly in love she was?

Without warning, as if she had been struck with the tiniest bit of electricity, she felt a squeeze on her right hand. She jolted but remained where she was. Was she imagining things?

Just as she decided to get up to get the nurse to make sure, she felt another sudden squeeze, much stronger than the last. Mouth agape, she searched his face which had quickly turned from peaceful to seemingly in pain. Haru gasped and let go of his hand, desperately reaching over him to press the nurse button.

She pressed the godforsaken button several times, but to no avail. It was no good.

"Ah, hang in there, W-Wonho. I'll get someone!" She whispered, staggering her way to the door as she broke into a run.

If she had just stayed a second longer, maybe she would have had the luxury of hearing him croak out, " _It's Hoseok_."

\----------

After running up to the nurses’ desk and frantically jumbling out that Wonho had signs of waking up, she realized there was a presence beside her.

A woman with long jet-black hair and fierce deep brown eyes stared back at her. Haru instantly recognized her as the woman who had been watching her every move at Wonho's work. Quite frankly, she gave her the creeps.

Gulping nervously, Haru took a few steps back before bumping into someone else. She looked over her shoulder to find not Kihyun, but Minhyuk glaring past her.

Was he glaring at the woman?

He reached out for Haru and whispered, "Let's go, Haru."

"W-Wait! Wonho! I think he's woken up!" She exclaimed in semi-panic.

Not even 5 seconds later was Kihyun by her side, the others popping up around her too; asking questions all at once. Haru couldn't even manage to comprehend one question being thrown at her. Her mind just kept replaying the moment he had squeezed her hand, how her heart had wanted to jump out of her chest from what it meant.

She held her hands up and tried her best to talk over all of them. It wasn't like she hadn't had practice reigning in several boys before. "I don't know if he's fully awake, but he squeezed my hand twice and after that, I just ran here and told the nurse! If you want answers I'd ask her."

"Okay, so where's the nurse?!" Shownu raised an eyebrow as he looked over her and straight at the empty nurses’ desk. "Oh, right. When I told her, she got up and went to check on him, so..." Taking her eyes away from the nurses’ desk, she looked around only to find the circle of brothers no longer around her but running full speed down the hallway.

She made a move to go after them but thought better of it. It would be futile. They were already too far for her to reach and stop from making a racket.

Haru sighed and let her shoulders sink, feeling some of the tension she had felt up until then leave her body. Deciding to check the clock on her phone, she realized it was almost ten thirty at night and she had to work the café at D&W tomorrow. Not to mention that visiting hours were way past being over. Taking one final look back toward the hallway where the boys had all stormed off down, the corners of her mouth lifted. Wonho would be okay, he had good people surrounding him. And that made her feel at ease.

As Haru was walking through the double automatic doors, she could hear the click of heels quickly trailing behind her. She decided not to think much of it and put her headphones in, clicking play on a nostalgic Underoath song. But before she could even take another step, the headphones were painfully yanked out of her ears.

“What the actual _fuck_!” Haru yelled, swerving around to snatch her headphones back from whoever had taken them. Her breath hitched at the sight in front her. It was the woman from Wonho’s work who had given her the creeps twice already. What could she possibly want from her?

“Who are you to Wonho?” She said sharply, still holding up Haru’s headphone’s lazily, wrist flipped up and eyebrows menacing. It was clear that Haru was missing something here, because who the hell did she think she was? She didn’t have to answer any of her damn questions to begin with.

“It’s none of your damn business who I am to Wonho,” Haru snapped, seizing her headphones from the woman. She just wanted to go home, take a bath and cuddle up with Butter after such a long day. She didn’t need any added drama in her life.

“I want you to stay away from him,” The woman snarled back, her features turning more sinister as she went on. “Do you hear me? He’s mine. The only one for me. I won’t let a bitch like you get in the way of it.”

For a split second Haru shivered from the ominous aura she was giving off, before she broke out into a full-on howl. What was she even going on about?! “Huh?! My god, you can fucking have him!” Haru couldn’t fight off the remaining giggles that were left after she tried to control her first fit of laughs. She was hardly the type to fight for a guy. If she were, her relationship with Jungkook wouldn’t be such a confusing mess. This woman really had the wrong girl, if that’s what she wanted. “If that’s all your ridiculous ass has to say, I’ll be leaving first,” Haru giggled out and turned around in disbelief.

A warning to back off? That was a first for her and it was hilarious. If Wonho had to pick, she’d be the last piece of stardust he’d ever consider. People had always taken a liking to her platonically. She couldn’t really imagine him or anyone liking her more than that.

There was indeed no way in hell he’d ever pick someone as plain as her, and she was completely fine with that.

Little did she know that in the split second she had considered him, her hands had flashed a beautiful, bright _gold_.

\----------

“You absolute asshole! Why didn’t you just stay home and get some rest!” Kihyun screeched as he entered the room first and stalked up to Wonho’s bedside. As much as it seemed like Kihyun wanted to strangle him, nothing but relief shined in his eyes. Kihyun dropped down into a squat, using the siding of Wonho’s bed to hold him steady as he sobbed.

“I’ll never forgive you for this!” Minhyuk came in next, smacking into Kihyun’s back as he yelled profanities of his own at Wonho for making them worry so much. He kept flinching at the sudden attacks from them but wasn’t surprised in the least that this was the way they were reacting.

“You guys need to be quiet. The nurse only let us in for a few minutes,” Shownu said, his stone face melting into one of joy at the sight of Wonho. “How are you feeling?” He asked him, patting his feet a little too forcefully. No doubt a bit angry himself, too.

“I’m fine, throats just a bit dry,” Wonho replied hoarsely.

“I’ll go get some water!” Changkyun exclaimed, barely peeking his head over the curtain before running off.

“Where’s Haru? I could have sworn I heard her voice…” Wonho wondered aloud, looking around the room in curiosity. He could have sworn she had been there, could have sworn her voice was the one he had woken up to.

“Are you asking about a girl when we’re the ones who have been worried sick?!” Jooheon gritted through his teeth. Without missing a beat, he went straight for Wonho’s nipple and didn’t fail to miss his target. Wonho shouted in pain and Kihyun shot up from his position on the ground, face ready to chew out the both of them for being so casual about all of this.

“Are-Are you actually crying, Kihyun?” Wonho questioned in genuine surprise.

“Shut up, I’m not talking to you.”

“Well, we’re glad you’re fine and all,” Hyungwon said without emotion, walking into the room with Changkyun, who held a small pitcher of water that he quickly set down on Wonho’s bedside table. Changkyun attempted to hand the tiny cup of water to Wonho, who already had his hand out in gratitude, but Kihyun swiftly grabbed it and dangled it out of Wonho’s reach.

“Hey! What are you even doing?! I’m a sick person in a hospital!” Wonho shouted, having enough of everyone’s antics.

“First, tell us what’s going on with you and Haru,” Kihyun teased mercilessly.

“Hey, come on, Kihyun! He just woke up after scaring the shit out of us. Cool it _for now_ ,” Jooheon smirked at the end of his sentence.

Sure, he was tired and a bit disoriented, but he wouldn’t trade the way he was greeted for anything in the world. His brothers were truly the best thing that had ever happened to him.

Kihyun huffed and lowered the cup into Wonho’s hand, then swiftly made his way over to Jooheon to smack him upside the head. “Who said you could talk to me like that?”

Wonho watched as the mess in front of him unfolded. Kihyun and Jooheon fighting in insulting whispers and light-hearted smacks while Shownu tried to separate them, all the while Minhyuk yelled for them to shut up and behave because this was a hospital. Hyungwon silently judging them at the foot of Wonho’s bed and Changkyun laughing at it all from the chair beside him.

Smiling into the tiny cup in his hands, he affirmed in a whisper only he could hear amongst the commotion.

“Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t trade these guys for anything in this world.”

Even though he knew it was obvious to his brothers how much he loved them, for now, he’d keep this much a secret between him and the cup.

\----------

_“Maybe love will find us again  
For there is always tomorrow  
Sincerely 'til the end…”_

"Haru, is your shift over?"

She snapped out of the memories plaguing her and looked down at Hoseok who was leaning over the counter, head tucked in between his folded arms adorably. The smile that spread across her face was large and bright.

Reaching over with her left hand, she gently ruffled his soft hair and observed the pleased sigh that escaped him, before he sunk further into his sweater-clad arms. "Yeah, I just finished," Haru whispered, as if she would ruin the serenity of the moment if she spoke too loudly. "Good. Does that mean you can come with me to eat something?" He dreamily whispered back.

Haru wished she could. After the day she had yesterday, spending the day with Hoseok would have healed any leftover stress.

"I'm sorry, Hobi. I can't today." She really hated having to refuse the offer.

Taking her gaze toward the digital clock on the wall, she wondered if she'd be late. "I have to meet my mom and Yuna in a bit."

Hoseok opened his eyes in a flash at the mention of her family. "Really? Do you want me to come with you?" She sent a sad smile his way, truly wishing she could bring him along.

In all truth, she was dreading the meeting. It had been nearly a year and a half since the last time she had seen them both, along with her father.

"I really wish you could come, but I can't bring one of you guys with me every time I meet them. I need to confront some things on my own. Thank you, though."

Huffing out a nervous breath at just the thought of seeing them again, she sent him another forced smile before she stalked off to the locker room.

\----------

"I thought Haru would be lazing around here, not you," Yoongi drawled, stepping out into the venue from the small hallway. "What are you doing here? You didn't have work today."

Hoseok was sat at one of the bar stools, his elbows on the bar counter. Yoongi observed the way he swung from side to side mindlessly as he looked at the ceiling, completely lost in thought. There was only one human being on this earth who could make him so pensive.

Yoongi sighed. "What did Haru do now?"

Hoseok briskly moved his head in Yoongi's direction and all Yoongi could think of was how he didn't snap his neck at that rate. "Hmm?" He questioned, and Yoongi rolled his eyes in response. He sat down next to Hoseok and repeated himself. "I said, what did Haru do now, idiot."

"She's meeting her family today," Hoseok replied, taking his gaze back to the industrial ceiling of the venue. Yoongi didn’t really know what to say to that.

So, he let the comfortable silence float between them for a while before speaking again.

“Do you think she’ll be okay? Why didn’t she take you with her?”

Hoseok bit his lip. “She didn’t want anyone coming with her this time. Said that she needed to do things on her own sometimes. I don’t know why out of everything to do on her own though, she would choose meeting her family as one of them.”

“She’s right, you know. That’s her family, and even though we’re as close as people can get, there’s just things we _can’t_ get involved in. It’s time for her to face them on her own. All we can do is hope everything goes well.” Yoongi looked down at his hands that were positioned in between his thighs. They gradually gripped the edge of the stool more tightly as he thought of the few times he had gone with Haru to meet up with her family. They weren’t pleasant memories.

“I don’t want to see her hurt any more than she already is. She has enough with Jungkook.” Yoongi could sense the rising anger in Hoseok’s voice. They all wanted to protect her as best they could, but Hoseok had always been more sensitive than the others when it came to Haru. His overprotectiveness surpassed that of the rest and often made the others question his intentions, but he had never made a single move to suggest he wanted anything more. “Jungkook and her family are two separate pains.”

Yoongi slid off the bar stool and stretched. “Let’s just be there for her when it all comes crashing down. You know the drill,” He finished, patting Hoseok on the shoulder before going behind the bar to get ready for the busy night ahead.

\----------

“You’re fashionably late, as always.”

Haru inhaled and bit the inside of her bottom lip. The only reason she was doing this was to see her sister.

Looking up with a new-found smile, she resolved to make the meeting as painless as possible. “Sorry, I forgot I had a present for Yuna and had to run back to my apartment.”

“A present?” Her mother began, “It’s a miracle you remembered Yuna has a birthday, on account of-”

Yuna stood up from her sitting position across from Haru, eyes dulling from what she knew was coming. “Can I open it right now?”

Haru jolted in surprise, half excited to give it to her. She didn’t know if Yuna would particularly like it since they were sort of hand me downs, but they meant a lot to her. “Yes, of course,” Haru moved around the table and walked up to hug her sister. “Happy birthday my little squish,” She giggled, squeezing the daylights out of her baby sister. Haru had missed her so damn much. It was a shame she couldn’t see her often. Even though they texted or called each other quite a bit, it just wasn’t the same.

She let go of her sister and sat down across from her mother, not daring to look in her general direction. Yuna wasted no time, not even bothering to sit down before she yanked off the tissue paper that Haru had nearly spent ten minutes perfecting and stifled a scream. Yuna carefully pulled out a few of Haru’s old albums out of the bag, turning them over one by one and examining them thoroughly. Despite being apart, Yuna was like Haru in the way of how much they appreciated music. Yuna’s vibrant yellow hands made Haru’s chest swell with love and affection. She only hoped that since she couldn’t be around all the time to protect her, that things were okay at home.

“Do you like them?” Haru asked, although she already knew the answer. Yuna jumped slightly a few times out of excitement before responding, “Yes! Oh my god, these are amazing, Haru! I can’t find these anywhere anymore!”

Haru didn’t dare interrupt Yuna’s happiness with a reply of her own, but just watched how her sister gushed over all her vintage cd’s from when she was a teen.

“Yuna may be fifteen now, but she certainly doesn’t need to be listening to the garbage you listen to.”

Yuna turned her head sharply toward their mother, eyebrows furrowed and ready to strike.

“Mom, she listens to all types of music. I just thought she’d enjoy some of mine. It’s not a big deal,” Haru intervened before Yuna could fight with her. “Anyway, I think I should leave before I miss my photoshop class.”

Haru stood up and gave Yuna a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I miss you kid. Come around to my apartment sometimes. Butter misses you, too.” Putting all her energy into mussing her sister’s hair, she hardly realized that their mother had gotten up from her seat. She grabbed Haru by the arm and dragged her through the little gate that led to the parking lot, effectively leaving Yuna by herself.

“Mom, what are you doing?!” Haru yelped, knowing that struggling to get out of her mother’s grip would only make things worse.

Her mother stopped on the sidewalk that was still hidden by the restaurant building and a few bushes, moving Haru in front of her by force. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing with those cd’s, but I won’t have another one of my children poisoned by that _crap_.”

Haru was trying her best to keep herself calm, taking in breaths that were nearly turning into shaky sobs.

_Control yourself._

“Yuna can like the music she wants, mom. She’s fifteen! A teenager, not a baby! You can’t control everything about her anymore!”

The next thing she felt was heat spreading across her left cheek. Haru touched her face, eyes wide in disbelief. “Did you just _slap_ me?” Despite everything that had happened until now, her father nor her mother had ever laid a finger upon Haru.

“You’re as selfish as ever, Haru. What gives you the right, after what you’ve done, to come around here and act like you’re a good sister? A good daughter? Do you know how much it affects Yuna to have these meetings, how much she gets teased at school because everyone knows what her sister did four years ago?”

Haru felt her chest cave in at her mother’s words. She had never meant for what had happened to end up like this. It was the last thing on her mind back then. She had no idea that it would affect her sister, too.

“You have no shame.”

And with that, her mother walked back into the outdoor patio of the restaurant, leaving Haru standing there with nothing but a heavy heart.

_Just when you think_

_the heart couldn’t be mangled_

_any more than it already is,_

_life finds a way to prove you wrong._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You could say this chapter got a bit away from me? Haha  
> It was a chapter which I fully enjoyed writing, and I hope you guys enjoy reading!  
> Thank you for continuing to read this story and waiting for updates.  
> It means the world to me, as always<3

**Author's Note:**

> Haru's "colors" are loosely based off of mood to color synesthesia.
> 
> I hope you enjoy & thank you for reading! ^^


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